Uploaded September 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
You may have heard that divorce destroys children. But that's not entirely true, not if the home was toxic. If you've attended a conservative church all your life (like I have), you've heard that divorce will destroy your children, that they will become drug addicts or alcoholics.... or that they'll have such bad behavior problems in school, they will be suspended or expelled. You've heard their marriages will end in divorce, too. But researchers know that NONE of those things are likely to happen to your kids if you divorce. We've been fed a lot misinformation. Divorce is much more complex than we were taught. No one ever told us that in highly toxic homes, divorce is actually better for kids than staying married. Yes, true. It's been shown over and over in research since 1995. It is better to be raised by a stable healthy single parent than to be in a destructive two-parent married home.
This video will give you the facts, the studies, and the sources so you can check it out yourself.
1) Are my kids likely to have serious life-long harm if I divorce? (No.)
2) Are my kids likely to have drug/alcohol abuse problems? (No.)
3) Are my kids likely to be suspended or expelled from school for behavior problems? (No, again!)
4) Are my kids likely to divorce too? (No, they're not.)
5) When is divorce good for kids, and when is it bad? (It depends on how destructive and toxic the marriage is.)
BONUS
How much does emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, addictions, and mental illness in the home affect kids? (Observing or experiencing these things are destructive for kids.)
All the sources and citations are listed: either in the images, below the graphs, or at the end of the video.
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ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
For more information on kids and divorce, read Ch 7 in The Life-Saving Divorce book. It includes 50 pages of information that will help you and your kids survive and thrive. It also gives tips on what to say to your kids during high-conflict divorces and parental alienation.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
You Tube: youtube.com/channel/UCRgtUNfTlYIRDt8iOK6XPKQ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gretchen.bas...
Twitter: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchenbas...
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
My 50 Most Popular Blog Posts: LifeSavingDivorce.com/popular
Divorce Story Interviews: http://www.LifeSavingDivorce.com/inte...
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage
You may have heard that divorce destroys children. But that's not entirely true, not if the home was toxic. If you've attended a conservative church all your life (like I have), you've heard that divorce will destroy your children, that they will become drug addicts or alcoholics.... or that they'll have such bad behavior problems in school, they will be suspended or expelled. You've heard their marriages will end in divorce, too. But researchers know that NONE of those things are likely to happen to your kids if you divorce. We've been fed a lot misinformation. Divorce is much more complex than we were taught. No one ever told us that in highly toxic homes, divorce is actually better for kids than staying married. Yes, true. It's been shown over and over in research since 1995. It is better to be raised by a stable healthy single parent than to be in a destructive two-parent married home.
This video will give you the facts, the studies, and the sources so you can check it out yourself.
1) Are my kids likely to have serious life-long harm if I divorce? (No.)
2) Are my kids likely to have drug/alcohol abuse problems? (No.)
3) Are my kids likely to be suspended or expelled from school for behavior problems? (No, again!)
4) Are my kids likely to divorce too? (No, they're not.)
5) When is divorce good for kids, and when is it bad? (It depends on how destructive and toxic the marriage is.)
BONUS
How much does emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, addictions, and mental illness in the home affect kids? (Observing or experiencing these things are destructive for kids.)
All the sources and citations are listed: either in the images, below the graphs, or at the end of the video.
-----
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
For more information on kids and divorce, read Ch 7 in The Life-Saving Divorce book. It includes 50 pages of information that will help you and your kids survive and thrive. It also gives tips on what to say to your kids during high-conflict divorces and parental alienation.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
You Tube: youtube.com/channel/UCRgtUNfTlYIRDt8iOK6XPKQ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gretchen.bas...
Twitter: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchenbas...
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
My 50 Most Popular Blog Posts: LifeSavingDivorce.com/popular
Divorce Story Interviews: http://www.LifeSavingDivorce.com/inte...
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage
![Dynamics of Abuse with Bob Hamp MFT [Multi-Language]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Va0B3i7xXn0/mqdefault.jpg "Dynamics of Abuse with Bob Hamp MFT [Multi-Language]
Bob Hamp, MFT, is an expert on marital abuse in Christian relationships. He’s been a Christian therapist for more than 30 years. We talk today about both male and female victims and why they stay with someone who hurts them. There are 3 videos in this series. See links below:
Video #1: DYNAMICS OF ABUSE: The Mis-Assignment of Responsibility
Heres the problem: Victims of abuse don’t see themselves as victims. They see themselves as special helpers. Often abuse victims think they can “love their spouse out of his/her trap” or fill the hole in their heart. So that results in a terrible dynamic:
1. The abusers assigns responsibility to the victim to meet their demands or drives
2. An abuser makes the victim responsible for the abuser’s choices
3. The abuser tells the victim, “You are responsible for keeping the secret.”
4. Onlookers ask the victim what they did to cause it.
The victim has resources. The abuser has deficits. The abuser wants to give the deficits to the victim and take his/her resources.
When the victim finally puts an end to this, they are accused of being vindictive and “giving up too soon,” when in reality, they are finally handing the abuser/addict back his/her own responsibility.
Video 1) The Dynamics of Abuse
Video 2) How Do I Know If My Spouse Has Really Changed? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz085lbGi-I
Video 3) My Church Says My Spouse Has Changed, But Has He Really? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEx-LRT-kYs
————
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, The Life-Saving Divorce is about the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your childrens future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
FOR A DISCUSSION ON THE TOPIC OF ABUSE, read chapter 4 in The Life-Saving Divorce book, or go to www.lifesavingdivorce.com/130examples to understand overt and covert emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual abuse and neglect.
Whats a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
Book, The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships
Paperback or eBook: https://amzn.to/3CCBsnr AUDIOBOOK: https://amzn.to/4f52Mh4
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
Subscribe to Gretchens You Tube channel: / @lifesavingdivorce
Facebook: facebook.com/lifesavingdivorce
Twitter: / ggbaskerville
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: http://www.LifeSavingDivorce.com
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: http://www.LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage")
