Uploaded February 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
If a dog starts barking to get my attention
And I can see it, the breed I can mention
I’m good at knowing different kinds of dogs
But I can’t tell the difference between a toad and a frog
And I can’t tell a cougar from a mountain lion
Even if I stare till I turn blue
Same thing happens when I’m trying to figure
If it’s a reindeer or a caribou
Orca, killer whale
Prairie wolf, coyote
Elk and moose
Same thing, new coat
Call ’em what you want, hope no one corrects you
Learn the Latin names if you work at a zoo
(Or a museum!)
If a cat walks into the room
I can name the breed pretty soon
But give me a minute, maybe a while
With an alligator versus crocodile
(Crocodile)
People seem amazed when I name spiders
Black widow, wolf, brown recluse
But I still mix up a buffalo and a bison
Even if they’re standing right next to you
Orca, killer whale
Prairie wolf, coyote
Elk and moose
Same thing, new coat
Call ’em what you want, hope no one corrects you
Learn the Latin names if you work at a zoo
(Or a museum!)
The worst confusion happened dining out one night
When my partner said, “Let’s trade bites”
Imagine our shock when the waiter appeared
With her mahi-mahi and my dolphin fish
So we laughed it off and ordered again
Said, “Okay, let’s fix this mess”
But somehow we still got the very same plates
She ordered toothfish, I ordered sea bass
Orca, killer whale
Prairie wolf, coyote
Elk and moose
Same thing, new coat
Call ’em what you want, hope no one corrects you
Learn the Latin names if you work at a zoo
(Or a museum!)
I hope I never get too good at
Knowing the difference between a mouse and a rat
I keep my place clean so I can avoid that
And if that fails, I’ll get a cat
And a bat
And some traps
If a dog starts barking to get my attention
And I can see it, the breed I can mention
I’m good at knowing different kinds of dogs
But I can’t tell the difference between a toad and a frog
And I can’t tell a cougar from a mountain lion
Even if I stare till I turn blue
Same thing happens when I’m trying to figure
If it’s a reindeer or a caribou
Orca, killer whale
Prairie wolf, coyote
Elk and moose
Same thing, new coat
Call ’em what you want, hope no one corrects you
Learn the Latin names if you work at a zoo
(Or a museum!)
If a cat walks into the room
I can name the breed pretty soon
But give me a minute, maybe a while
With an alligator versus crocodile
(Crocodile)
People seem amazed when I name spiders
Black widow, wolf, brown recluse
But I still mix up a buffalo and a bison
Even if they’re standing right next to you
Orca, killer whale
Prairie wolf, coyote
Elk and moose
Same thing, new coat
Call ’em what you want, hope no one corrects you
Learn the Latin names if you work at a zoo
(Or a museum!)
The worst confusion happened dining out one night
When my partner said, “Let’s trade bites”
Imagine our shock when the waiter appeared
With her mahi-mahi and my dolphin fish
So we laughed it off and ordered again
Said, “Okay, let’s fix this mess”
But somehow we still got the very same plates
She ordered toothfish, I ordered sea bass
Orca, killer whale
Prairie wolf, coyote
Elk and moose
Same thing, new coat
Call ’em what you want, hope no one corrects you
Learn the Latin names if you work at a zoo
(Or a museum!)
I hope I never get too good at
Knowing the difference between a mouse and a rat
I keep my place clean so I can avoid that
And if that fails, I’ll get a cat
And a bat
And some traps
