Uploaded July 2024 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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31 Fai I stole Candy from a Preacher Man
1
When it comes to failure,
It is hard to pick just one,
Like the time I forgot my sunglasses,
And suffered snow blindness from the Sun.
2
Or the time I pulled the trigger of,
A fully loaded gun,
Inside my parents bedroom,
That day wasn’t at all fun.
3
Or the time I held a match up to,
A twenty-two caliber bullet,
It did what you might think,
It put shrapnel in my mullet.
4
Or the time I stole some candy,
From a substitute teacher,
And it didn’t help a lot,
That he was a full-time Baptist preacher.
5
Or the time I jumped my motorcycle,
Across a fifty-foot wide creek,
My friends told me not to do it,
And I was on crutches for a week.
6
Then in 1981 I joined the Navy,
I’d be an officer by fall,
But I was leaving a teaching job with tenure,
Could have been the biggest fail of them all.
7
But the Navy worked out great for me,
I learned many things in fact,
Like if you steal candy from a preacher man,
Then you have to give it back.