Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
In this video, I compare FOTF-USA with FOTF-Canada and show why their marriage ministry materials are very different, and why that difference matters for pastors.
Focus on the Family commissioned Lifeway Research to do two studies: one of 1,000 pastors, and one of 1,000 churchgoing recent divorcees.
FOTF-USA read those studies and framed divorce mainly in terms of how it hurts the church: fewer volunteers, less giving, more strain. They also suggested that stronger “conviction” protects marriages, implying that divorce correlates with weaker faith. This is a shame because we know that 1 in 4 highly religious couples have experienced abuse in their current relationship. This blind spot affects their marriage ministry material.
(Note: that research found many divorced churchgoers kept attending, about 6 in 10 gave the same or more financially, many kept serving, and nearly 70% say their divorce brought them closer to God.)
FOTF-Canada read the same studies and focused more on people in the pews: their hidden suffering, silence, and safety. To me, this seems to be a Jesus-centered approach.
Read more about the LifeWay divorcee study and why FOTF-USA doesn’t talk about it: lifesavingdivorce.com/lifeway-divorce-study-focus-on-the-family
I also discuss the 2025 FOTF State of the Family: Marriage Health in America survey that does not mention the word “abuse.” There are enough anomalies, that I made a request for the data per AACC ethics. They have not provided a questionnaire or topline for this study despite multiple formal requests over two months.
I’m pro-marriage. But pastors must ask better questions.
Some divorces weaken churches. Some divorces save lives.
Read more here: lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors-think-twice-focus-on-the-family-marriage-ministry
For more on Focus on the Family’s history of using research (some accurately, some inaccurately):
LIFEWAY STUDIES COMMISSIONED BY FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
1. Pastors need to think twice about using FOTF’s marriage ministry materials lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors-think-twice-focus-on-the-family-marriage-ministry
2. FOTF commissioned LifeWay to study 1,000 churchgoing recent divorcees. Why did they ignore the key takeaways lifesavingdivorce.com/lifeway-divorce-study-focus-on-the-family
3. FOTF commissioned 3 studies on marriage, divorce, and pastors in 2015. They reveal a huge gap between the support that churches offer during marital crisis, and whether people avail themselves of the assistance. lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors-and-christian-divorcees-lifeway-surveys-church-divorce-gap
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY ARTICLES
4. Major scientific and ethical errors in the FOTF article on “15 Questions Couples Should Ask Before Divorce.” lifesavingdivorce.com/15-questions-couples-should-ask-divorce
5. 12 Half-truths in the article “How Could Divorce Affect My Kids?” lifesavingdivorce.com/fotfdivorce1
HOPE RESTORED MARRIAGE INTENSIVES and RESTORING HOPE (FOCUS MARRIAGE THERAPY MANUAL)
6. Are their success claims for Hope Restored marriage intensives backed scientifically? No. See “The Truth About Focus on the Family’s “Hope Restored” Study: What the 2011 Research Really Says” lifesavingdivorce.com/hoperestoredfail
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and author. She began leading support groups for single mothers in conservative churches in the Los Angeles area in 1998 and now focuses primarily on reaching people online.
For more than 25 years, Gretchen has helped women and men of faith find strength, courage, and healing through the challenges of life-saving divorce. She listens with empathy to those recovering from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addiction, and emotional abuse.
A survivor of a toxic marriage herself, Gretchen understands the journey of rebuilding after loss. Following her own life-saving divorce and years as a single mother, she is now happily remarried.
She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.
Links to my resources
* The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive RelationshipsBook (paperback/eBook/audiobook page): amzn.to/3J3vXa7
* Audiobook (direct link): amzn.to/4f52Mh4
* Website & Blog: lifesavingdivorce.com
* Pastor Education page: lifesavingdivorce.com/pastor-education-domestic-violence-biblical-response
* Gumroad (EPUB + PDF download): gumroad.com/lsp
* For those who share an Amazon account with their abuser.
Social media
* Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/lifesavingdivorce.bsky.social
* Facebook: facebook.com/lifesavingdivorce
* Instagram: instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
* YouTube: youtube.com/@lifesavingdivorce
* Twitter/X: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
* LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gretchen-baskerville-2873591b5
In this video, I compare FOTF-USA with FOTF-Canada and show why their marriage ministry materials are very different, and why that difference matters for pastors.
Focus on the Family commissioned Lifeway Research to do two studies: one of 1,000 pastors, and one of 1,000 churchgoing recent divorcees.
FOTF-USA read those studies and framed divorce mainly in terms of how it hurts the church: fewer volunteers, less giving, more strain. They also suggested that stronger “conviction” protects marriages, implying that divorce correlates with weaker faith. This is a shame because we know that 1 in 4 highly religious couples have experienced abuse in their current relationship. This blind spot affects their marriage ministry material.
(Note: that research found many divorced churchgoers kept attending, about 6 in 10 gave the same or more financially, many kept serving, and nearly 70% say their divorce brought them closer to God.)
FOTF-Canada read the same studies and focused more on people in the pews: their hidden suffering, silence, and safety. To me, this seems to be a Jesus-centered approach.
Read more about the LifeWay divorcee study and why FOTF-USA doesn’t talk about it: lifesavingdivorce.com/lifeway-divorce-study-focus-on-the-family
I also discuss the 2025 FOTF State of the Family: Marriage Health in America survey that does not mention the word “abuse.” There are enough anomalies, that I made a request for the data per AACC ethics. They have not provided a questionnaire or topline for this study despite multiple formal requests over two months.
I’m pro-marriage. But pastors must ask better questions.
Some divorces weaken churches. Some divorces save lives.
Read more here: lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors-think-twice-focus-on-the-family-marriage-ministry
For more on Focus on the Family’s history of using research (some accurately, some inaccurately):
LIFEWAY STUDIES COMMISSIONED BY FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
1. Pastors need to think twice about using FOTF’s marriage ministry materials lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors-think-twice-focus-on-the-family-marriage-ministry
2. FOTF commissioned LifeWay to study 1,000 churchgoing recent divorcees. Why did they ignore the key takeaways lifesavingdivorce.com/lifeway-divorce-study-focus-on-the-family
3. FOTF commissioned 3 studies on marriage, divorce, and pastors in 2015. They reveal a huge gap between the support that churches offer during marital crisis, and whether people avail themselves of the assistance. lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors-and-christian-divorcees-lifeway-surveys-church-divorce-gap
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY ARTICLES
4. Major scientific and ethical errors in the FOTF article on “15 Questions Couples Should Ask Before Divorce.” lifesavingdivorce.com/15-questions-couples-should-ask-divorce
5. 12 Half-truths in the article “How Could Divorce Affect My Kids?” lifesavingdivorce.com/fotfdivorce1
HOPE RESTORED MARRIAGE INTENSIVES and RESTORING HOPE (FOCUS MARRIAGE THERAPY MANUAL)
6. Are their success claims for Hope Restored marriage intensives backed scientifically? No. See “The Truth About Focus on the Family’s “Hope Restored” Study: What the 2011 Research Really Says” lifesavingdivorce.com/hoperestoredfail
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and author. She began leading support groups for single mothers in conservative churches in the Los Angeles area in 1998 and now focuses primarily on reaching people online.
For more than 25 years, Gretchen has helped women and men of faith find strength, courage, and healing through the challenges of life-saving divorce. She listens with empathy to those recovering from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addiction, and emotional abuse.
A survivor of a toxic marriage herself, Gretchen understands the journey of rebuilding after loss. Following her own life-saving divorce and years as a single mother, she is now happily remarried.
She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.
Links to my resources
* The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive RelationshipsBook (paperback/eBook/audiobook page): amzn.to/3J3vXa7
* Audiobook (direct link): amzn.to/4f52Mh4
* Website & Blog: lifesavingdivorce.com
* Pastor Education page: lifesavingdivorce.com/pastor-education-domestic-violence-biblical-response
* Gumroad (EPUB + PDF download): gumroad.com/lsp
* For those who share an Amazon account with their abuser.
Social media
* Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/lifesavingdivorce.bsky.social
* Facebook: facebook.com/lifesavingdivorce
* Instagram: instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
* YouTube: youtube.com/@lifesavingdivorce
* Twitter/X: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
* LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gretchen-baskerville-2873591b5
