Uploaded July 2023 | Updated September 2026, 2 days ago
THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN REPLACED. Click here for NEW VERSION: youtu.be/Kk5GTMlZPNY
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*9 PROBLEMS*
(Note: in every anecdote in this series, Focus on the Family identifies the cheater, abuser, or addict as the husband, and the wife as the one who asks for help. We all know that men can be victims of abuse, but for this critique, I'll follow their pattern.)
😕 Problem 1: This video teaches that wives are to blame for men’s marriage-destroying behavior
😕 Problem 2: Only once in this 6-part series are men told their marriage-endangering behavior is sinful and must stop immediately
😕 Problem 3: The video suggests that wives are responsible for their own major depression.
😕 Problem 4: Wives are taught it’s simple to curb their husbands’ physical violence.
😕 Problem 5: In this video series produced for people in hurting and desperate marriages, Jim Daly and Gary Chapman defend and excuse husbands repeatedly
😕 Problem 6: The hosts’ advice gives the message that expecting men to exert themselves to become mature individuals is asking too much of them
😕 Problem 7: The anecdotes in this series describing emotional abuse and control make abuse disclosures seem petty and ridiculous, and suggest that abuse is the victim’s fault.
😕 Problem 8: In this series, Jim and Gary model to other Christian leaders how to PRETEND to care for wives in these desperate marriages, then just turn and blame them.
😕 Problem 9: Jim Daly discards Jesus’ teaching on divorce. Although he admits that Jesus allowed divorce for infidelity, he says that he, Jim Daly, knows better.
As people who take our faith seriously we believe in the sanctity of marriage, and we are steadfastly against frivolous divorces. But at the same time, we are realists and know that some divorces are for very serious things, such as a pattern of infidelity, physical violence, verbal or emotional abuse, family-crushing addictions, and abandonment of duty.
The host of this video series is Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family. The guest is author Gary Chapman. They discuss "heavy duty" marriage issues such as control and emotional abuse, women's depression, physical abuse, porn addictions, and infidelity. #FocusOnTheFamily
In reality, the Bible does permit divorce for abuse. lifesavingdivorce.com/abuse-in-bible
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Link to part where Jim Daly suggests that Gary Chapman is a counselor. After the auto-play advertisement pops up, jump to minute 00:30 youtu.be/5vRoAE8G8iI?t=30
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My next video critiques the 6-part FOTF video series, which uses footage from a 2-part PUBLIC You Tube series, called "Hope for Your Destructive Marriage." The links go to the public version:
Topic 1: Living in Reality - Starts here at 4:20 - youtu.be/5vRoAE8G8iI?t=260
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ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. Since 1998, she has worked in churches in the Los Angeles area. She helps heartbroken people find strength, courage, and healing. For more than 20 years she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addicted partners, and emotional abuse.
Herself the survivor of a toxic marriage, she walked through her own lifesaving divorce and was a single mother for many years. Today she is happily remarried. She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.
For more information:
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
Twitter twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Facebook facebook.com/lifesavingdivorce
Instagram instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
You Tube youtube.com/@lifesavingdivorce
Top 50 Blog Posts by Topic: lifesavingdivorce.com/popular
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/free
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for serious reasons: a pattern of sexual immorality, physical abuse, chronic emotional abuse, domestic violence, felony behavior, life-destroying addictions, or abandonment/neglect.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: Paperback: amzn.to/3cF1j25 Or eBook: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN REPLACED. Click here for NEW VERSION: youtu.be/Kk5GTMlZPNY
-----
*9 PROBLEMS*
(Note: in every anecdote in this series, Focus on the Family identifies the cheater, abuser, or addict as the husband, and the wife as the one who asks for help. We all know that men can be victims of abuse, but for this critique, I'll follow their pattern.)
😕 Problem 1: This video teaches that wives are to blame for men’s marriage-destroying behavior
😕 Problem 2: Only once in this 6-part series are men told their marriage-endangering behavior is sinful and must stop immediately
😕 Problem 3: The video suggests that wives are responsible for their own major depression.
😕 Problem 4: Wives are taught it’s simple to curb their husbands’ physical violence.
😕 Problem 5: In this video series produced for people in hurting and desperate marriages, Jim Daly and Gary Chapman defend and excuse husbands repeatedly
😕 Problem 6: The hosts’ advice gives the message that expecting men to exert themselves to become mature individuals is asking too much of them
😕 Problem 7: The anecdotes in this series describing emotional abuse and control make abuse disclosures seem petty and ridiculous, and suggest that abuse is the victim’s fault.
😕 Problem 8: In this series, Jim and Gary model to other Christian leaders how to PRETEND to care for wives in these desperate marriages, then just turn and blame them.
😕 Problem 9: Jim Daly discards Jesus’ teaching on divorce. Although he admits that Jesus allowed divorce for infidelity, he says that he, Jim Daly, knows better.
As people who take our faith seriously we believe in the sanctity of marriage, and we are steadfastly against frivolous divorces. But at the same time, we are realists and know that some divorces are for very serious things, such as a pattern of infidelity, physical violence, verbal or emotional abuse, family-crushing addictions, and abandonment of duty.
The host of this video series is Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family. The guest is author Gary Chapman. They discuss "heavy duty" marriage issues such as control and emotional abuse, women's depression, physical abuse, porn addictions, and infidelity. #FocusOnTheFamily
In reality, the Bible does permit divorce for abuse. lifesavingdivorce.com/abuse-in-bible
----
Link to part where Jim Daly suggests that Gary Chapman is a counselor. After the auto-play advertisement pops up, jump to minute 00:30 youtu.be/5vRoAE8G8iI?t=30
-------
My next video critiques the 6-part FOTF video series, which uses footage from a 2-part PUBLIC You Tube series, called "Hope for Your Destructive Marriage." The links go to the public version:
Topic 1: Living in Reality - Starts here at 4:20 - youtu.be/5vRoAE8G8iI?t=260
-----
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. Since 1998, she has worked in churches in the Los Angeles area. She helps heartbroken people find strength, courage, and healing. For more than 20 years she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addicted partners, and emotional abuse.
Herself the survivor of a toxic marriage, she walked through her own lifesaving divorce and was a single mother for many years. Today she is happily remarried. She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education.
For more information:
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
Twitter twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Facebook facebook.com/lifesavingdivorce
Instagram instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
You Tube youtube.com/@lifesavingdivorce
Top 50 Blog Posts by Topic: lifesavingdivorce.com/popular
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/free
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for serious reasons: a pattern of sexual immorality, physical abuse, chronic emotional abuse, domestic violence, felony behavior, life-destroying addictions, or abandonment/neglect.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: Paperback: amzn.to/3cF1j25 Or eBook: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
