Uploaded November 2016 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
When I get a voice call these days I immediately think it’s bad news, so I wrote a song about it. From my new album A/B!
This dramatic tune features a full orchestral arrangement led by piano and featuring a couple of one-way telephone conversations a la Bob Newhart. So... showtunes and Bob Newhart... yep, I’m a nerd.
Below are they lyrics and transcript:
Who Died? by Rob Paravonian ©2016
There are computers in our pockets
Connected to the world
they’re always on
And we should never feel alone
We use them to photograph our lives
And put it all online
Sometimes I forget that they’re still phones
In fact phone calls are so rare
When one comes in I find
There’s only one thought running through my mind
Who died? Oh my gosh, who died?
Something terrible’s happening
Why else would my phone ring
And fill me with such dread inside?
Who died?
“Mom! What’s wrong?”
“No! That’s George Clooney.”
“Yeah, Christian Bale’s in the other one.”
“No, that’s Ben Affleck.”
“Yeah. I guess if he were Italian he’s look more like me (laughs), I don’t know.”
“Look, I have to go, I’m in the middle of a song.”
“Yeah, love you too.”
Crisis has been averted
Calmness is reasserted
I’m sorry I blurted out my worst fear
Please don’t think me deranged
it really was so strange
That’s the first call I’ve gotten all year
I know I overreacted, it won’t happen again
I won’t even sweat this new call coming in…
“Unknown number?!”
Who died? It’s the F.B.I.
My friends are stuck in a hostage scene
What else could this call mean?
Bodies need to be identified. Who died?
“Who is this!?”
“But I cancelled that appointment!”
“Because you guys don’t take my new insurance.”
“Well then start taking Privation Mutual!”
“Same to you!”
I’m not saying don’t reach out at all
Just send a text to warn me of your call
“Otherwise I’m gonna think…”
Who died? Oh my gosh, who died?
The cops found my number in your phone
I was last seen with you alone
And I don’t have an alibi!
Who died? Oh my gosh, who died?
Why does my ringtone leave me terrified?
I can’t relax, I’ve tried
All I can think is “who died?”
Who died?
Who died?
Who died?
Who died?
“Who is this?!”
“Oh, it’s work.”
“Send that to voicemail.”
When I get a voice call these days I immediately think it’s bad news, so I wrote a song about it. From my new album A/B!
This dramatic tune features a full orchestral arrangement led by piano and featuring a couple of one-way telephone conversations a la Bob Newhart. So... showtunes and Bob Newhart... yep, I’m a nerd.
Below are they lyrics and transcript:
Who Died? by Rob Paravonian ©2016
There are computers in our pockets
Connected to the world
they’re always on
And we should never feel alone
We use them to photograph our lives
And put it all online
Sometimes I forget that they’re still phones
In fact phone calls are so rare
When one comes in I find
There’s only one thought running through my mind
Who died? Oh my gosh, who died?
Something terrible’s happening
Why else would my phone ring
And fill me with such dread inside?
Who died?
“Mom! What’s wrong?”
“No! That’s George Clooney.”
“Yeah, Christian Bale’s in the other one.”
“No, that’s Ben Affleck.”
“Yeah. I guess if he were Italian he’s look more like me (laughs), I don’t know.”
“Look, I have to go, I’m in the middle of a song.”
“Yeah, love you too.”
Crisis has been averted
Calmness is reasserted
I’m sorry I blurted out my worst fear
Please don’t think me deranged
it really was so strange
That’s the first call I’ve gotten all year
I know I overreacted, it won’t happen again
I won’t even sweat this new call coming in…
“Unknown number?!”
Who died? It’s the F.B.I.
My friends are stuck in a hostage scene
What else could this call mean?
Bodies need to be identified. Who died?
“Who is this!?”
“But I cancelled that appointment!”
“Because you guys don’t take my new insurance.”
“Well then start taking Privation Mutual!”
“Same to you!”
I’m not saying don’t reach out at all
Just send a text to warn me of your call
“Otherwise I’m gonna think…”
Who died? Oh my gosh, who died?
The cops found my number in your phone
I was last seen with you alone
And I don’t have an alibi!
Who died? Oh my gosh, who died?
Why does my ringtone leave me terrified?
I can’t relax, I’ve tried
All I can think is “who died?”
Who died?
Who died?
Who died?
Who died?
“Who is this?!”
“Oh, it’s work.”
“Send that to voicemail.”
![Last Super Bowl’s “Dead Kid” Returns With New Emo Ad [52 Sellout Week 5]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QMLP28pY_hs/mqdefault.jpg "Last Super Bowl’s “Dead Kid” Returns With New Emo Ad [52 Sellout Week 5]
Being dead for a full year had made last Super Bowl’s “Dead Kid” pretty emo. He’s back this year with his new emo band ready to rock his way into your hearts.
So, yeah, 52 Sellout is a weekly series, there are bound to be a few weird ones.")
![Enigmacil Direct to Consumer Antidepressant Ad [52 Sellout Week 13]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/R4z7Z3Tvq-8/mqdefault.jpg "Enigmacil Direct to Consumer Antidepressant Ad [52 Sellout Week 13]
Ask your doctor if Enigmacil is right for you. Tell him you heard about it in a commercial filled with cartoon neurons! And that you don’t remember any of the side effects because you were distracted by a groovy dance beat!
Note: I am NOT making fun of depression or people suffering from depression. My aim is to satirize direct-to-consumer marketing of pharmaceuticals, especially antidepressants, something that isn’t allowed anywhere in the world except the U.S. and New Zealand.
Here’s the copy:
(V.O.) If you’re suffering from depression, it’s not you, it’s science. And because of science, Enigmacil may be able to help. In a clinical trial Enigmacil worked slightly better than a placebo at making people feel slightly better.
Here’s how we’ll tell you Enigmacil works: we’ll use scientific terms like neurotransmitters and reuptake inhibitors, and we’ll show you an animation of Enigmacil doing something. Wow! Look at that! That looks really effective!
And now for the fine print, here’s a non-threatening white rapper.
Disclaimer Rapper:
Enigmacil has been known to cause bleeding
Or behavior at work that may be self-defeating
You should avoid meetings and legal proceedings
You may think you’re Jesus but the thought’ll be fleeting
So, go slow if you’re toking on the greenery
Appreciate the scenery, don’t operate machinery
As far as we know your libido is finito
So you need a hobby, do Pilates, maybe try aikido
Enigmacil may weaken your bones
Give you kidney stones, and make you accident prone
It’ll give you dry mouth, make your eyes turn red
Thoughts of suicide will run through your head
So don’t go in tall buildings or walk near a river
Don’t take Enigmacil if you ever had a liver
It delivers shivers, your hands will quiver and shake, and
It all gets worse if you ever stop taking it!
V.O.
Ask your doctor if Enigmacil is right for you. And if he or she won’t say that it is, call us and we’ll find a doctor that will.
Enigmacil, it works, because we say it does.")
![Beep! Beep! Outta the Way! [Official Lyric Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RNtMGDbRmDo/mqdefault.jpg "Beep! Beep! Outta the Way! [Official Lyric Video]
Henry Ford hated jazz. He thought it was a symptom of a decaying society and he blamed its popularity on a conspiracy of people from a certain religion. So I wrote him a 1920s-style jazz song!
It’s from the album The American Songbook: Redacted, which is full of songs that poke fun at history and culture, check it out at these links!
Bandcamp: https://robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/beep-beep-outta-the-way
YouTube music: https://youtu.be/UTOdc4LNZ88
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/beep-beep-outta-the-way/1646865974?i=1646866460
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/470xLxU740OL2diCVYQozt?si=0526093b991b4395
Amazon Music: https://amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0BFT8KBQH?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_rB7Kmf8pKi6PIA1CK0b0FWKRe&trackAsin=B0BFTFDJHM
Lyrics:
Henry Ford was adored for making automobiles
But after several years it didn’t have the same appeal
So he bought a paper for himself and hired some scribes
To publish weekly anti-Jewish diatribes
And of the several racist views that he has
He blames the Jews for how much he hates jazz
And if this music criticism sounds insane
It is! Shouldn’t a car guy know to stay in his lane?
Beep Beep! Outta the Way
The old man has something to say
Here’s a word from Henry Ford
“I don’t like songs with too many chords!”
The tooting horns and jungle beat
Make young people move their feet
The Charleston is quite a scare
So I’ll force all dancers into squares!
That’s right! Henry Ford heavily promoted square dancing as his corrective for all the urban jazz he hated so much. It’s why we all had to take it in grade school. Let’s see, square dancing involves one person on stage telling everyone else exactly what to do. Why, that’s not dancing, that’s TYRANNY!
Beep Beep! Outta the way
What’s wrong with these kids today?
Their music’s bad, there’s no denying it
So it must be a plot by Zionists!
Music was good before
How great was the Civil War?
Yeah, people died, I guess that’s wrong
But it’s a small price for such great songs!
Just keep that music free
of all the ethnic syncopation
Sonic impurities
are a mark of too much immigration
It’s got to be an evil plot
each week new tunes assault the ears
No one needs this many songs
“I made 1 product for 18 years!”
Beep Beep! Outta the way!
Will jazz destroy the USA?
This old man thinks it’s true
And he blames it on the Jews
And he is gonna use
All his capital to spew
All his racist views today!
Beep! Beep!")
![This is How You Tie a Bow Tie [Music Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/SZuUE3NKt70/mqdefault.jpg "This is How You Tie a Bow Tie [Music Video]
A catchy song to help you remember how to tie a bow tie. By comedian/musician Rob Paravonian.
This is the first video from my new series of Tip Songs, a series of music videos with helpful hints and tips set to catchy tunes. Look for more soon!
Many thanks to Rachel Blithe, Delissa Reynolds, and Bar Sepia in Brooklyn for help with bubbles, balloons, confetti and props.")
![Kellyanne Conway-America’s Ex-Wife [music video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UTzUL1bk4fk/mqdefault.jpg "Kellyanne Conway-America’s Ex-Wife [music video]
Argumentative, combative, never admitting mistakes and always blaming other people. Its not just your ex-wife, its Kellyanne Conway, and counselor to President Trump. We here at RobPRocks wrote a song just for her!
Lyrics:
I cringe every time
I see her on Meet The Press
Cause she’s not there to make a point
she’s there to make a mess
She clouds the truth so skillfully
the devil is impressed
She’s America’s ex-wife, Kellyanne
She’ll spew out so many words
you can’t see through the smoke
She’ll say things so ridiculous
you’ll think that it’s a joke
If time is money she’ll keep talking
until you go broke
She’s America’s ex-wife, Kellyanne
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, conflict is her life
Not letting you speak is her whole plan
She doesn’t care what’s true
she’s just here to screw with you
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, Kellyanne
Any point you try to make
is answered with a scoff
She’ll call you an elitist
as she holds her nose aloft
She’s not trying to win
she’s just trying to piss you off
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, Kellyanne
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, she’s always sowing strife
She’ll cloud the issues any way she can
She lies just because she loves to kill your buzz
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, Kellyanne
She can make crazy sound believable
She’ll turn all her lies around on you
She views the whole world as deceivable
She’s living a lie and she wants you to live it too
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, She takes such delight
In starting fights wherever she can
She will lie, deflect, and scold
she’ll give you s*** and say it’s gold
She’s America’s Ex-Wife
in your back she’ll stick a knife
She’s America’s Ex-Wife, Kellyanne")
