Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
What if failure isn't the problem -- it's the story you're telling yourself about it?
In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, I take you through the first part of a class I teach inside Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com). Let’s talk about the real reason failure stops us cold. It’s not the failure itself. It's the meaning we assign to it, the story we quietly tell ourselves about what it says about who we are.
But there's something even harder to face than failing. It's the moment you break trust with yourself. These two things look alike but they're completely different, and once you understand the distinction, the way you relate to your own setbacks will never be the same. This episode draws from two lessons inside the Flying Higher program.
Key Takeaways:
- What does a toddler learning to walk have to do with your biggest setback? The answer will shift the way you see every failure you've ever had.
- Carol Dweck spent decades studying why some people bounce back from failure and others don't. What's the one thing that actually determines which kind of person you are?
- There's a critical difference between failing and breaking trust with yourself. Do you know which one you're actually dealing with right now?
- Why does getting on your own case about not following through make things so much worse? It has to do with a part of your brain I call Myrtle, and her response will surprise you.
- Two small daily practices can quietly rebuild your relationship with yourself from the inside out, even if you've broken your own promises more times than you can count.
Related Resources:
Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month.
Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! natalie@flyingfreenow.com
What if failure isn't the problem -- it's the story you're telling yourself about it?
In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, I take you through the first part of a class I teach inside Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com). Let’s talk about the real reason failure stops us cold. It’s not the failure itself. It's the meaning we assign to it, the story we quietly tell ourselves about what it says about who we are.
But there's something even harder to face than failing. It's the moment you break trust with yourself. These two things look alike but they're completely different, and once you understand the distinction, the way you relate to your own setbacks will never be the same. This episode draws from two lessons inside the Flying Higher program.
Key Takeaways:
- What does a toddler learning to walk have to do with your biggest setback? The answer will shift the way you see every failure you've ever had.
- Carol Dweck spent decades studying why some people bounce back from failure and others don't. What's the one thing that actually determines which kind of person you are?
- There's a critical difference between failing and breaking trust with yourself. Do you know which one you're actually dealing with right now?
- Why does getting on your own case about not following through make things so much worse? It has to do with a part of your brain I call Myrtle, and her response will surprise you.
- Two small daily practices can quietly rebuild your relationship with yourself from the inside out, even if you've broken your own promises more times than you can count.
Related Resources:
Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month.
Do you have a question for the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast? Send me an email! natalie@flyingfreenow.com
![Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [372]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sXOw3biIgqk/mqdefault.jpg "Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [372]
What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think hes such a great guy when you know the truth?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why seeing your ex after months can feel like all your progress disappeared (it didnt)
- What trauma bonding actually does to your memory of the relationship
- Why emotionally abusive people seem so great to everyone else
- The false equivalency that keeps people from believing abuse survivors
- How to know if youre lonely for him or for something else entirely
🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.")
![Narcissist? Or Just Plain Evil? (Know the Difference!) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Two [367]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tHoG8d9BQDE/mqdefault.jpg "Narcissist? Or Just Plain Evil? (Know the Difference!) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Two [367]
In this second episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we open up the DSM-5 and walk through the actual clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder but with a crucial twist.
🎯 Key Takeaways:
- The diagnosis youre hunting for might be the least of your problems. Even if your partner doesnt meet all nine DSM-5 criteria for NPD, you can still be experiencing serious harm in your relationship.
- Everyone has narcissistic traits, but its about pattern, pervasiveness, and pathology. The difference between normal self-esteem and a personality disorder comes down to whether the behavior is consistent, shows up everywhere, and causes real damage.
- Not all narcissists look the same. Grandiose narcissists bulldoze you with charm and dominance. Vulnerable narcissists guilt-trip you with sensitivity and victimhood. Both cause devastation.
- Youre likely dealing with coercive control, not just a difficult personality. This systematic pattern of isolation, gaslighting, financial control, and micro-regulation is psychological warfare, and its actually a criminal offense in some countries.
- The label matters less than the behavior. Whether hes a clinical narcissist, has traits from the Dark Triad, or is just plain abusive, what matters is the harm youre experiencing, and you dont need a diagnosis to know its not okay.
- Stop waiting for him to be diagnosed. Narcissistic traits are ego-syntonic” which means he sees them as strengths, not problems. Hell never walk into a therapists office asking for help, which means you cant wait for professional validation to seek safety.
Get Today’s Free Resource:
📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
🦋 Join me and hundreds of other Christian women for the transformation of your life inside the Flying Free Kaleidoscope! Learn more at joinflyingfree.com")
![Why Your Empathy is a Superpower (and a TARGET!) - High Functioning Women Series Part Two [375]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tkjpyY3-qno/mqdefault.jpg "Why Your Empathy is a Superpower (and a TARGET!) - High Functioning Women Series Part Two [375]
This is Part Two of my series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. In Part One, we explored how the very qualities that make these women extraordinary are the same ones that make them exceptionally vulnerable. Today were going deeper into one of the most specific and targeted of those qualities: empathy.
If youve ever felt like your compassion is working against you, like the more you understand him, the more stuck you become, this episode will show you exactly whats happening underneath that cycle. And it will start to give you a way out.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why does understanding his pain seem to pull you closer to danger instead of toward safety? The answer will reframe everything you thought you knew about your own compassion.
- Theres a biological metaphor in this episode that explains precisely how your God-given empathy gets hijacked, and once you see it, you cannot unsee it.
- What does a scapegoat have to do with your marriage? Natalie unpacks a family systems concept that might explain why you always end up holding everyone elses chaos.
- Theres a trap that was specifically designed to make every exit feel impossible. Natalie names it, and then shows you the crack in the wall.
- Whats the difference between empathy and enabling, and why does that distinction change everything about how you move forward? The answer might surprise you.
Get Today’s Free Resource:
📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.")
![Can AI Help Christian Women in Emotionally Abusive Marriages? [364]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/u4CSs3uSRAI/mqdefault.jpg "Can AI Help Christian Women in Emotionally Abusive Marriages? [364]
What if an AI could help you organize your abuse evidence, understand your trauma, and save you thousands in legal fees?
Aimee Says isnt just another AI tool—its a specialized digital health platform that understands power and control dynamics, helps you document patterns of abuse, organizes your evidence for court, and keeps your data completely private and encrypted. Whether youre trying to understand whats happening in your marriage, preparing for custody battles, or just need someone to help you see the patterns you cant yet name, this tool could change everything.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Privacy matters: Unlike ChatGPT, Aimee Says doesnt use your data to train AI models, and your conversations are encrypted and completely private which is critical when youre dealing with abuse.
- Specialized training: Aimee is educated in power and control dynamics, trauma-informed care, family court systems, and the intersection of faith and abuse.
- Timeline and documentation: The paid version tracks everything you tell it, creates timelines of abuse, identifies patterns, and organizes evidence in ways that family court judges and attorneys actually want to see.
- Removes the emotion: Aimee takes your raw, emotional experiences and translates them into clean, professional documentation that wont trigger the allergic reaction judges have to trauma responses.
- You are the one rescuing you: The women who fare best are those who stop waiting for someone else to save them and use tools like this to take back control of their own stories.
Get Today’s Free Resource:
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
Anne Wintemute is the Co-Founder and CEO of Aimee Says, the AI companion for victims and survivors of domestic violence. She is a fierce champion for the rights of survivors and children, and systems that hold perpetrators accountable.
Prior to working with survivors, Anne founded and directed an elementary school that became a model for micro-schools across the United States. In her spare time, she enjoys urban homesteading with her partner and their blended family in Denver, Colorado.")
