Uploaded April 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She’s getting married soon, but before she walks down the aisle, she wants to walk toward her mother with more understanding. Years of complicated emotions since her parents’ divorce have built walls between them. With Esther’s insight, she learns how to acknowledge her own feelings, understand her mother’s defenses, and lay the groundwork for a more loving connection.
Chapters
00:00 What Does It Mean to Truly Honor Your Younger Self?
01:06 Why Do We Keep Repeating the Same Fight With Our Parents?
04:07 What Really Broke the Family and What Stayed Intact?
07:07 Why Does Accountability Feel Like an Impossible Ask?
10:09 Was She Always This Way or Did Something Shift?
12:57 What Happens When You Choose Curiosity Over Confrontation?
16:17 Can a Wedding Become a Chance to Rewrite the Script?
19:25 How Do You Say Something Hard So It Can Actually Be Heard?
23:35 What Changes When You Stop Needing Them to Validate You?
25:33 Can Someone Else Help Bridge What You Can’t Say Directly?
26:35 What If You Stopped Knocking on a Door That Won’t Open?
28:55 What Changes When You Try to See Her Pain First?
30:54 What Can a “Chinese Finger Trap” Teach About Letting Go?
32:38 What Would You Say to Your Teenage Self Now?
34:52 Is Divorce the End of a Family or Its Transformation?
38:39 Can You Separate the Mother From the Partner She Was?
43:42 What Happens When You Lead With Honest Praise and a Clear Ask?
46:47 What Does It Look Like to Actually Try Something New?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She’s getting married soon, but before she walks down the aisle, she wants to walk toward her mother with more understanding. Years of complicated emotions since her parents’ divorce have built walls between them. With Esther’s insight, she learns how to acknowledge her own feelings, understand her mother’s defenses, and lay the groundwork for a more loving connection.
Chapters
00:00 What Does It Mean to Truly Honor Your Younger Self?
01:06 Why Do We Keep Repeating the Same Fight With Our Parents?
04:07 What Really Broke the Family and What Stayed Intact?
07:07 Why Does Accountability Feel Like an Impossible Ask?
10:09 Was She Always This Way or Did Something Shift?
12:57 What Happens When You Choose Curiosity Over Confrontation?
16:17 Can a Wedding Become a Chance to Rewrite the Script?
19:25 How Do You Say Something Hard So It Can Actually Be Heard?
23:35 What Changes When You Stop Needing Them to Validate You?
25:33 Can Someone Else Help Bridge What You Can’t Say Directly?
26:35 What If You Stopped Knocking on a Door That Won’t Open?
28:55 What Changes When You Try to See Her Pain First?
30:54 What Can a “Chinese Finger Trap” Teach About Letting Go?
32:38 What Would You Say to Your Teenage Self Now?
34:52 Is Divorce the End of a Family or Its Transformation?
38:39 Can You Separate the Mother From the Partner She Was?
43:42 What Happens When You Lead With Honest Praise and a Clear Ask?
46:47 What Does It Look Like to Actually Try Something New?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
