Uploaded October 2025 | Updated September 2026, 14 minutes ago
Esther Calling - He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But I Can't Let Go of the Hope | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: When her younger sister gets engaged, a woman finds herself spiraling with unexpected grief and frustration. She’s spent years in relationships with men who shy away from marriage, and the news stirs up deeper childhood wounds—secrets about her family and questions of belonging. With Esther’s help, she begins to face the shame she’s carried and the tricky balance between wanting to be seen and wanting to stay true to herself.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: The Weight of Family Secrets
00:44 A Sister's Engagement and Personal Heartache
01:53 The Pain of Being Different
02:49 Confronting Deep-Seated Emotions
03:41 The Desire for Belonging and Validation
07:13 Exploring Family Dynamics
08:48 Unveiling Childhood Secrets
12:05 The Impact of Hidden Truths
16:45 Mother's Shame and Its Influence
19:15 Codependency and Emotional Safety
20:19 Breaking the Connection
21:07 Journey of Differentiation
21:46 Revisiting Relationship Patterns
22:31 Family Dynamics and Painful Conversations
24:11 Public Declarations and Symbolic Acts
26:48 Internal Conflicts and Realizations
33:55 Parental Conflicts and Emotional Burdens
38:43 Reflection and Moving Forward
42:33 Conclusion
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
Esther Calling - He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But I Can't Let Go of the Hope | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: When her younger sister gets engaged, a woman finds herself spiraling with unexpected grief and frustration. She’s spent years in relationships with men who shy away from marriage, and the news stirs up deeper childhood wounds—secrets about her family and questions of belonging. With Esther’s help, she begins to face the shame she’s carried and the tricky balance between wanting to be seen and wanting to stay true to herself.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: The Weight of Family Secrets
00:44 A Sister's Engagement and Personal Heartache
01:53 The Pain of Being Different
02:49 Confronting Deep-Seated Emotions
03:41 The Desire for Belonging and Validation
07:13 Exploring Family Dynamics
08:48 Unveiling Childhood Secrets
12:05 The Impact of Hidden Truths
16:45 Mother's Shame and Its Influence
19:15 Codependency and Emotional Safety
20:19 Breaking the Connection
21:07 Journey of Differentiation
21:46 Revisiting Relationship Patterns
22:31 Family Dynamics and Painful Conversations
24:11 Public Declarations and Symbolic Acts
26:48 Internal Conflicts and Realizations
33:55 Parental Conflicts and Emotional Burdens
38:43 Reflection and Moving Forward
42:33 Conclusion
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
