Rikki Poynter | first mother's day since leaving abusive mother @rikkipoynter | Uploaded May 2024 | Updated October 2024, 11 hours ago.
Growing up with physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse by my mother for 30 years, I never was a fan of Mother’s Day. I’d get jealous seeing everyone happily with their mothers, posting happy pictures. Etc. (Granted, of course, I know anything can happen behind closed doors and that pictures aren’t always what they seem.) I hated how it seemed like I had to pretend everything was okay especially on Mother’s Day and play into this role both online and offline. I hated knowing that there’s always people that will think I’m a terrible person because “well, it’s your mother!” even though I think that excuse is ridiculous. I hated knowing that I would never get that happy relationship with my mother, and I would always be awkward around other people’s mothers. (Not rude, just awkward.)
This is my first Mother’s Day being on my own without all of that. In recent years, I never said Happy Mother’s Day. And today, I look at my phone and think, “Do I want to do that now? She’s been doing this strong attempt at being in my good graces since we no longer see each other and there’s a text every once in a while in case some information is needed, but other than that…”
I mean, I know I don’t want to send anything. It wouldn’t be genuine if I did. But as it turns out, the guilt in the back of your mind doesn’t simply go away so easily! (well, maybe it does for some. But apparently not for me.)
And unfortunately, I still get sad seeing the happy posts that are all on Facebook, Instagram, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them. A little bitter and jealous, sure, I’ll admit to that.
Hey, does anybody wanna be my mother today? I got a lot of food pantry canned stuff I can contribute to the dinner table.
Video Description:
Makeupless Rikki (white woman in her early 30s) with her brown wavy hair down. Her cheek is resting on her hand. Slow zoom effect is on. She puffs up her cheeks at the end of the video.
Text says, “It took 30 years to be able to get out of an abusive home with an abusive mother and it’s your first Mother’s Day since.”
#MothersDay #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #NewLife #NewBeginnings #NewChapter #HealingJourney
Growing up with physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse by my mother for 30 years, I never was a fan of Mother’s Day. I’d get jealous seeing everyone happily with their mothers, posting happy pictures. Etc. (Granted, of course, I know anything can happen behind closed doors and that pictures aren’t always what they seem.) I hated how it seemed like I had to pretend everything was okay especially on Mother’s Day and play into this role both online and offline. I hated knowing that there’s always people that will think I’m a terrible person because “well, it’s your mother!” even though I think that excuse is ridiculous. I hated knowing that I would never get that happy relationship with my mother, and I would always be awkward around other people’s mothers. (Not rude, just awkward.)
This is my first Mother’s Day being on my own without all of that. In recent years, I never said Happy Mother’s Day. And today, I look at my phone and think, “Do I want to do that now? She’s been doing this strong attempt at being in my good graces since we no longer see each other and there’s a text every once in a while in case some information is needed, but other than that…”
I mean, I know I don’t want to send anything. It wouldn’t be genuine if I did. But as it turns out, the guilt in the back of your mind doesn’t simply go away so easily! (well, maybe it does for some. But apparently not for me.)
And unfortunately, I still get sad seeing the happy posts that are all on Facebook, Instagram, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them. A little bitter and jealous, sure, I’ll admit to that.
Hey, does anybody wanna be my mother today? I got a lot of food pantry canned stuff I can contribute to the dinner table.
Video Description:
Makeupless Rikki (white woman in her early 30s) with her brown wavy hair down. Her cheek is resting on her hand. Slow zoom effect is on. She puffs up her cheeks at the end of the video.
Text says, “It took 30 years to be able to get out of an abusive home with an abusive mother and it’s your first Mother’s Day since.”
#MothersDay #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #NewLife #NewBeginnings #NewChapter #HealingJourney
