Uploaded August 2018 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
in which alexandra gets weird about the nature of crying and truth
not joking, I do truly love making completely unmarketable, niche, embarrassing things, so I am truly excited to have made a thing that will surely cause me deep cringe in years to come (does it help that I'm always earnest, or does that make it worse? ah well. let's all enjoy the unintentional comedy of a screencap of that tiny "real pain" moment)
jokes aside, so this came about because one day, after having sobbed for a couple of hours about various things, nbd, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on my way to bed, and was shocked to see that my makeup had done the movie perfect "god, she's a tragic mess" thing to my face, which has never happened to me before. I was specifically taken with the long, pale black mascara streak from one tear that came out of my left eye. it felt weirdly validating in the moment, thinking "well, at least the crying was genuine. a strong left tear--proves I'm real and so is what I feel." because the visual of my tear-streaked face felt striking in the moment, I pulled out my camera and shot a couple minutes of me just...facing the lens down and trying not to keep crying. so if you're wondering if I faked all of the tear mess, you're wrong--this is shot directly after a real, Messy AF meltdown
I didn't know what to do with the footage until I looked up that myth about the tears and the different eyes and found out that there's no science behind it. (there was a clinical trial, I believe, but the sample size was way too small, under twenty people, I think)
learning that there was no way to tell if my tears were scientifically more valid or not made me weirdly panicky and insecure, which felt like a bizarre enough reaction to make a video out of. if I was a poet, this could've been great, but sadly, I'm too fuckin dumb for that.
also, this video is a Mood for a good portion of this summer, which has been kinda difficult for me
Tumblr: thevloggingnook.tumblr.com
buy me a coffee: ko-fi.com/thevloggingnook
give this video a thumbs up if you too love using old film overlays and don't know how you're going to be satisfied making any other videos without em
in which alexandra gets weird about the nature of crying and truth
not joking, I do truly love making completely unmarketable, niche, embarrassing things, so I am truly excited to have made a thing that will surely cause me deep cringe in years to come (does it help that I'm always earnest, or does that make it worse? ah well. let's all enjoy the unintentional comedy of a screencap of that tiny "real pain" moment)
jokes aside, so this came about because one day, after having sobbed for a couple of hours about various things, nbd, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on my way to bed, and was shocked to see that my makeup had done the movie perfect "god, she's a tragic mess" thing to my face, which has never happened to me before. I was specifically taken with the long, pale black mascara streak from one tear that came out of my left eye. it felt weirdly validating in the moment, thinking "well, at least the crying was genuine. a strong left tear--proves I'm real and so is what I feel." because the visual of my tear-streaked face felt striking in the moment, I pulled out my camera and shot a couple minutes of me just...facing the lens down and trying not to keep crying. so if you're wondering if I faked all of the tear mess, you're wrong--this is shot directly after a real, Messy AF meltdown
I didn't know what to do with the footage until I looked up that myth about the tears and the different eyes and found out that there's no science behind it. (there was a clinical trial, I believe, but the sample size was way too small, under twenty people, I think)
learning that there was no way to tell if my tears were scientifically more valid or not made me weirdly panicky and insecure, which felt like a bizarre enough reaction to make a video out of. if I was a poet, this could've been great, but sadly, I'm too fuckin dumb for that.
also, this video is a Mood for a good portion of this summer, which has been kinda difficult for me
Tumblr: thevloggingnook.tumblr.com
buy me a coffee: ko-fi.com/thevloggingnook
give this video a thumbs up if you too love using old film overlays and don't know how you're going to be satisfied making any other videos without em
