Why Is Everyone So Turned On By Heated Rivalry? Part 1 @estherperel

Uploaded January 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

You asked my thoughts on Heated Rivalry, and so I binge-watched it with a friend (who herself was watching it for the fourth time!). I'm sharing multiple videos on my TikTok reflecting on the series and addressing the questions I've received, here is the first, where I discuss corrective experience.

Have you watched? What are your thoughts?

Why Is Everyone So Turned On By Heated Rivalry? Part 1

$Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship? | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a new relationship marked by intense highs and low lows. She turns to AI, using it as a real-time coach to navigate arguments and break painful communication loops. She shows up differently, and the relationship begins to shift. But as the dust settles, a new question emerges. What does it mean to rely on something your partner doesn’t know about, and wouldn’t agree with? Is her use of ChatGPT a tool or a transgression? Chapters 00:15 Can AI Help Your Relationship? 00:58 Why Keep AI Coaching a Secret? 02:51 Is AI Advice a Betrayal of Trust? 04:42 How Did AI Become Part of the Relationship? 07:45 What Happens When AI Joins an Argument? 09:00 Is AI Making Jealousy Better or Worse? 12:32 Can AI Help You Break a Relationship Pattern? 16:14 What Happens When the Advice Feels Too Cold? 18:04 Are the Highs Worth the Lows? 21:56 Is AI a Tool or a Boundary Crossing? 23:58 What Does Differentiation Really Mean? 26:45 Can You Love Someone Without Agreeing? 28:30 How Do You Love Across Real Differences? 31:17 Why Are Conspiracy Beliefs About Power? 33:41 Is Chemistry Enough Without Respect? 40:43 Should You Trust AIs Answers? 43:24 Wheres the Line Between Privacy and Secrecy? 46:42 What Will You Take From This Conversation? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$ $Will I Always Be Alone? | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: He comes to Esther not with a singular question but with an overflow of words and unspoken truths. Betrayed by a once-supportive church and struggling to reconcile his desires with his emotions, he carries a loneliness that has followed him across continents. This session is all about naming. Naming the parts of his life, the feelings left unspoken, and the longings that ache in his heart. Chapters 00:00 What Does Loneliness Really Feel Like? 01:05 What Question Brings Him Here? 03:16 Why Did Dating Get Harder After Moving? 06:15 Are Apps Making Him Feel More Alone? 08:47 What Did He Lose When He Left Home? 11:21 What Is He Really Looking For? 18:26 Is Anonymous Sex Filling the Wrong Need? 19:07 What Role Did His Family Teach Him to Play? 25:18 How Do You Learn to Ask for Care? 33:58 Why Did He Leave Cape Town? 35:36 What Happens When Your Church Rejects You? 42:10 Where Does Healing Begin? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack Entre Nous.$

Esther Perel Tells Cosmopolitans Willa Bennett Why People Cheat and Why We Obsess Over It

Esther Perel on The New York Times Mankeeping Article

$Is Your Partner Using You? I Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: Was I used for a visa? She comes to Esther reeling from the end of a five-year relationship marked by love, deceit, and manipulation. After discovering her partner’s infidelities and hearing a therapist describe him as a possible psychopath or narcissist, she struggles to understand what was real. Together, they work to untangle the conflicting truths, rebuild her trust in her own perceptions, and explore how she can approach love with greater clarity. Chapters 00:00 What Makes Relationships So Complicated? 00:55 The Moment Everything Changed 03:10 Looking Back: What Was Real in the Relationship? 04:20 When Did the End Really Begin? 07:05 Love, Visas, and Impossible Choices 09:24 Was This the Breakup That Couldn’t Be Avoided? 15:59 What Happens When the Truth Finally Surfaces? 23:08 When Therapy Gives Conflicting Answers 25:28 How Many Lies Can a Relationship Hold? 27:00 Is Honesty Always the Right Choice? 29:42 How the Therapist’s Own Story Shapes the Work? 33:03 Who Has Power in This Relationship? 35:17 When Your Reality Starts to Feel Unstable 36:37 How Self-Perception Can Save or Sink Us? 40:45 What Does Closure Actually Look Like? 43:18 Why Are Emotions Never Simple? 45:26 Is It Possible to Trust Again? 48:00 What Remains After Everything Is Said? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com, by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram, or by joining my Substack community Entre Nous at https://estherperel.substack.com for bonus content.$

Esther Perel on the Importance of Friendships for Parents in the Back to School Timeline

Esther Perel and Dan Harris on Substack Live

Fundamental Attribution Error, As Explained by Esther Perel

The first step in repairing self-betrayal

Mating in Captivity is translated into 30 languages