Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 4 hours ago
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a new relationship marked by intense highs and low lows. She turns to AI, using it as a real-time coach to navigate arguments and break painful communication loops. She shows up differently, and the relationship begins to shift. But as the dust settles, a new question emerges. What does it mean to rely on something your partner doesn’t know about, and wouldn’t agree with? Is her use of ChatGPT a tool or a transgression?
Chapters
00:15 Can AI Help Your Relationship?
00:58 Why Keep AI Coaching a Secret?
02:51 Is AI Advice a Betrayal of Trust?
04:42 How Did AI Become Part of the Relationship?
07:45 What Happens When AI Joins an Argument?
09:00 Is AI Making Jealousy Better or Worse?
12:32 Can AI Help You Break a Relationship Pattern?
16:14 What Happens When the Advice Feels Too Cold?
18:04 Are the Highs Worth the Lows?
21:56 Is AI a Tool or a Boundary Crossing?
23:58 What Does Differentiation Really Mean?
26:45 Can You Love Someone Without Agreeing?
28:30 How Do You Love Across Real Differences?
31:17 Why Are Conspiracy Beliefs About Power?
33:41 Is Chemistry Enough Without Respect?
40:43 Should You Trust AI's Answers?
43:24 Where's the Line Between Privacy and Secrecy?
46:42 What Will You Take From This Conversation?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a new relationship marked by intense highs and low lows. She turns to AI, using it as a real-time coach to navigate arguments and break painful communication loops. She shows up differently, and the relationship begins to shift. But as the dust settles, a new question emerges. What does it mean to rely on something your partner doesn’t know about, and wouldn’t agree with? Is her use of ChatGPT a tool or a transgression?
Chapters
00:15 Can AI Help Your Relationship?
00:58 Why Keep AI Coaching a Secret?
02:51 Is AI Advice a Betrayal of Trust?
04:42 How Did AI Become Part of the Relationship?
07:45 What Happens When AI Joins an Argument?
09:00 Is AI Making Jealousy Better or Worse?
12:32 Can AI Help You Break a Relationship Pattern?
16:14 What Happens When the Advice Feels Too Cold?
18:04 Are the Highs Worth the Lows?
21:56 Is AI a Tool or a Boundary Crossing?
23:58 What Does Differentiation Really Mean?
26:45 Can You Love Someone Without Agreeing?
28:30 How Do You Love Across Real Differences?
31:17 Why Are Conspiracy Beliefs About Power?
33:41 Is Chemistry Enough Without Respect?
40:43 Should You Trust AI's Answers?
43:24 Where's the Line Between Privacy and Secrecy?
46:42 What Will You Take From This Conversation?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.
