Why Do Affairs Uncover Family Secrets? @estherperel

Uploaded February 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

On this week's podcast, a discussion of infidelity leads to the uncovering of even more family secrets.

Watch this week's podcast on YouTube youtu.be/21Kj0EYzCV0 or subscribe on Substack where I'll talk about this a bit more in Friday's exclusive "En Plus" video https://estherperel.substack.com?utm_medium=social

Infidelity in France Vs. The United States

Does Friendship Ghosting Hurt More Than Romantic Ghosting? Esther Perel Weighs In

The Power of Storytelling: BTS With Paul Browde at Sessions Live

Esther Perel and Priya Parker: Live on Substack

Am I Being Gaslit? The Follow Up I Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel

Birth During Covid: Podcast Preview Should I Have Another Baby?

Whats changed in therapy in the last 20 years?

Esther Perel on Polarization, and Making Friends with Other Parents

$Burdens of the Family | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They share a legacy of war, a refugee upbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo and now theyre trying to build a happier relationship for their child. Chapters 00:00 What Happens When Love Turns Into War? 00:36 Why This Story Comes With A Warning 01:18 Was The Affair The Real Beginning? 01:39 What Happens When Love Is Forbidden? 03:03 Can This Marriage Be Saved? 03:30 How Does A Refugee Story Shape A Marriage? 05:00 What Happens When A Parent Leaves? 07:06 What Changes When You Share The Pain? 09:24 How Does Childhood Violence Follow You? 11:34 How Does Trauma Travel Across Generations? 13:33 Where Does The Affair Fit In? 15:32 What If You Brought The Charm Home? 17:43 Are You Fighting Each Other Or Fighting To Survive? 20:47 Why Do They Keep Triggering Each Other? 22:09 What Does Survival Mode Do To Love? 22:50 Are The Dishes Really About The Dishes? 25:03 Can Adults Give Themselves Permission To Play? 27:03 Why Is It So Hard For Her To Stop? 28:09 When Does A Partner Become A Parent? 29:40 Can They Rewrite The Dishes Conversation? 34:17 How Do You Break The Choreography Of Conflict? 35:34 What Is Your Daughter Learning From You? 37:56 Whats Missing From Their Marriage? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by subscribe to her Substack Entre Nous for bonus content.$ $Is Therapy-Speak & Over-Analysis Ruining Our Relationship? Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: A couple sits down with Esther Perel to untangle trust, control, and intimacy after becoming parents. He feels weighed down by anxiety and responsibility; she struggles with ADHD, resistance to structure, and fears of falling short in her art career. Their love is strong, but everyday tensions spiral into power struggles. Esther challenges them to move beyond their labels and find a new connection. Chapters 00:00 Introduction: The Dilemma of Communication 01:50 Meet the Couple: Struggles with Parenthood and Mental Health 03:35 The Impact of Neurodivergence on Relationships 04:19 Therapy Speak and Its Consequences 05:09 Current Emotional States and Parenting Challenges 12:18 The Importance of Trust and Communication 14:34 Power Struggles and Control Issues 27:08 Financial Pressures and Career Aspirations 31:44 Understanding the Challenge of Different Approaches 33:02 A Real-Life Example: Pool and Dinner Dilemma 37:14 The Underlying Issues: Personal Histories and Emotional Needs 40:26 Strategies for Better Communication and Support 46:05 The Importance of Playfulness and Rituals 51:37 Final Thoughts About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$