![Vaguebooking! [52 Sellout Week 42] @paravonian](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OVpYj0GSVas/maxresdefault.jpg)
Uploaded October 2016 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
Need attention but don't want to deal with any messy explanations? Try vaguebooking! The best way to force your friends to be on your side, without them knowing what side that is!
Lyrics:
Feeling lonely and you need some attention
Things are going on that you don't want to mention
'Cause if you give details your friends may dismiss it
So it's best not to be too explicit
Vaguebooking, you don't say a lot
Your friends don't know if you're dying or not
Vaguebooking when you hit post
You want to see who loves you the most
"Today I really need good vibes"
"Bad news, or do you just feel fat?"
Or maybe something good happened and you want credit
But you'd look like a jerk if you came out and said it
Your need for likes is getting obsessive
And making you so passive aggressive
"I just proved that I'm great! lol!"
Vaguebooking you're bragging again
You even went so far as to start tagging your friends
Vaguebooking when you hit post
You want to see who loves you the most
Vaguebooking
"After today I just think it's wrong to kidnap people."
"What do you mean 'AFTER TODAY'?!?!
Vaguebooking
"Just signed on the dotted line for something amazing!"
"A house? A car? PAROLE?"
Vaguebooking
"Sometimes people die."
"Oh my gosh, are you at a funeral? Suicidal? Or just stating the human condition?"
Vaguebooking
"The cop emoji?! What the hell does that mean?"
Need attention but don't want to deal with any messy explanations? Try vaguebooking! The best way to force your friends to be on your side, without them knowing what side that is!
Lyrics:
Feeling lonely and you need some attention
Things are going on that you don't want to mention
'Cause if you give details your friends may dismiss it
So it's best not to be too explicit
Vaguebooking, you don't say a lot
Your friends don't know if you're dying or not
Vaguebooking when you hit post
You want to see who loves you the most
"Today I really need good vibes"
"Bad news, or do you just feel fat?"
Or maybe something good happened and you want credit
But you'd look like a jerk if you came out and said it
Your need for likes is getting obsessive
And making you so passive aggressive
"I just proved that I'm great! lol!"
Vaguebooking you're bragging again
You even went so far as to start tagging your friends
Vaguebooking when you hit post
You want to see who loves you the most
Vaguebooking
"After today I just think it's wrong to kidnap people."
"What do you mean 'AFTER TODAY'?!?!
Vaguebooking
"Just signed on the dotted line for something amazing!"
"A house? A car? PAROLE?"
Vaguebooking
"Sometimes people die."
"Oh my gosh, are you at a funeral? Suicidal? Or just stating the human condition?"
Vaguebooking
"The cop emoji?! What the hell does that mean?"
![Vaguebooking! [52 Sellout Week 42]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OVpYj0GSVas/mqdefault.jpg "Vaguebooking! [52 Sellout Week 42]
Need attention but dont want to deal with any messy explanations? Try vaguebooking! The best way to force your friends to be on your side, without them knowing what side that is!
Lyrics:
Feeling lonely and you need some attention
Things are going on that you dont want to mention
Cause if you give details your friends may dismiss it
So its best not to be too explicit
Vaguebooking, you dont say a lot
Your friends dont know if youre dying or not
Vaguebooking when you hit post
You want to see who loves you the most
Today I really need good vibes
Bad news, or do you just feel fat?
Or maybe something good happened and you want credit
But youd look like a jerk if you came out and said it
Your need for likes is getting obsessive
And making you so passive aggressive
I just proved that Im great! lol!
Vaguebooking youre bragging again
You even went so far as to start tagging your friends
Vaguebooking when you hit post
You want to see who loves you the most
Vaguebooking
After today I just think its wrong to kidnap people.
What do you mean AFTER TODAY?!?!
Vaguebooking
Just signed on the dotted line for something amazing!
A house? A car? PAROLE?
Vaguebooking
Sometimes people die.
Oh my gosh, are you at a funeral? Suicidal? Or just stating the human condition?
Vaguebooking
The cop emoji?! What the hell does that mean?")
![Think Piece [52 Sellout Week 51]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oqsw6JLvJzw/mqdefault.jpg "Think Piece [52 Sellout Week 51]
Need to spew thoughts too deep for a tweet or a facebook post? Then you need to write a think piece! The Society for a Whatever Life encourages you to write think pieces that we’ll totally get around to reading, you know, when things aren’t so crazy!
Lyrics to the song:
The world to you has proven bat-poop crazy
Every day youre amazed its like the universe is hazing you
And most of the ways to express your rage
Boil down to posting B.S. on your facebook page
But posts are too short, they fly by in your feed
You gotta slow the speed when you deliver a screed
You need a full-on essay, esé, whatcha say?
For you what you got to say theres only one way
You need piece to put on Medium(.com)
Theyre fun to write, not always fun reading em
Line up the dead horses, its time to start beating em
Cause you need a think piece to put on Medium(.com)
Thoughts on the election? Put it in a think piece!
Dont like One Direction? Put it in a think piece!
Ya like guns for home protection? Put it in a think piece!
Having a bout of introspection? Put it in a think piece!
Think piece!
Think piece!
You spend hours staring at your feet
With thoughts too deep to tweet, you need to be complete
So treat this piece like your magnum opus
the best way to cope with a world that feels hopeless
Its not really teaching, more like street preaching
You could text more people than this piece will be reaching
But its not about fame or trying to go viral
Its about breaking out of your depression spiral
So write a think piece! And put it online
This piece of your minds the only peace you can find
Its no solution, just a fun ax you can grind
When you write a think piece and put it online
Thoughts about Obama? Put it in a think piece!
Jokes about your momma? Put it in a think piece!
You like Futurama? Put it in a think piece!
Complain about some drama? Put it in a think piece!
Put it in a think piece!
Put it in a think piece!
Put it in a think piece!")
![Fix an Inkjet with a hammer! [52 Sellout Week 15]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OvZgHWjVN5U/mqdefault.jpg "Fix an Inkjet with a hammer! [52 Sellout Week 15]
The inkjet hammer will eliminate your need to buy those expensive ink cartridges for your printer. And like every classic “As Seen on TV” commercial, if you call in the next 10 minutes we’ll double your order!")
![Last Super Bowl’s “Dead Kid” Returns With New Emo Ad [52 Sellout Week 5]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QMLP28pY_hs/mqdefault.jpg "Last Super Bowl’s “Dead Kid” Returns With New Emo Ad [52 Sellout Week 5]
Being dead for a full year had made last Super Bowl’s “Dead Kid” pretty emo. He’s back this year with his new emo band ready to rock his way into your hearts.
So, yeah, 52 Sellout is a weekly series, there are bound to be a few weird ones.")
![Enigmacil Direct to Consumer Antidepressant Ad [52 Sellout Week 13]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/R4z7Z3Tvq-8/mqdefault.jpg "Enigmacil Direct to Consumer Antidepressant Ad [52 Sellout Week 13]
Ask your doctor if Enigmacil is right for you. Tell him you heard about it in a commercial filled with cartoon neurons! And that you don’t remember any of the side effects because you were distracted by a groovy dance beat!
Note: I am NOT making fun of depression or people suffering from depression. My aim is to satirize direct-to-consumer marketing of pharmaceuticals, especially antidepressants, something that isn’t allowed anywhere in the world except the U.S. and New Zealand.
Here’s the copy:
(V.O.) If you’re suffering from depression, it’s not you, it’s science. And because of science, Enigmacil may be able to help. In a clinical trial Enigmacil worked slightly better than a placebo at making people feel slightly better.
Here’s how we’ll tell you Enigmacil works: we’ll use scientific terms like neurotransmitters and reuptake inhibitors, and we’ll show you an animation of Enigmacil doing something. Wow! Look at that! That looks really effective!
And now for the fine print, here’s a non-threatening white rapper.
Disclaimer Rapper:
Enigmacil has been known to cause bleeding
Or behavior at work that may be self-defeating
You should avoid meetings and legal proceedings
You may think you’re Jesus but the thought’ll be fleeting
So, go slow if you’re toking on the greenery
Appreciate the scenery, don’t operate machinery
As far as we know your libido is finito
So you need a hobby, do Pilates, maybe try aikido
Enigmacil may weaken your bones
Give you kidney stones, and make you accident prone
It’ll give you dry mouth, make your eyes turn red
Thoughts of suicide will run through your head
So don’t go in tall buildings or walk near a river
Don’t take Enigmacil if you ever had a liver
It delivers shivers, your hands will quiver and shake, and
It all gets worse if you ever stop taking it!
V.O.
Ask your doctor if Enigmacil is right for you. And if he or she won’t say that it is, call us and we’ll find a doctor that will.
Enigmacil, it works, because we say it does.")
![Beep! Beep! Outta the Way! [Official Lyric Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RNtMGDbRmDo/mqdefault.jpg "Beep! Beep! Outta the Way! [Official Lyric Video]
Henry Ford hated jazz. He thought it was a symptom of a decaying society and he blamed its popularity on a conspiracy of people from a certain religion. So I wrote him a 1920s-style jazz song!
It’s from the album The American Songbook: Redacted, which is full of songs that poke fun at history and culture, check it out at these links!
Bandcamp: https://robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/beep-beep-outta-the-way
YouTube music: https://youtu.be/UTOdc4LNZ88
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/beep-beep-outta-the-way/1646865974?i=1646866460
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/470xLxU740OL2diCVYQozt?si=0526093b991b4395
Amazon Music: https://amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0BFT8KBQH?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_rB7Kmf8pKi6PIA1CK0b0FWKRe&trackAsin=B0BFTFDJHM
Lyrics:
Henry Ford was adored for making automobiles
But after several years it didn’t have the same appeal
So he bought a paper for himself and hired some scribes
To publish weekly anti-Jewish diatribes
And of the several racist views that he has
He blames the Jews for how much he hates jazz
And if this music criticism sounds insane
It is! Shouldn’t a car guy know to stay in his lane?
Beep Beep! Outta the Way
The old man has something to say
Here’s a word from Henry Ford
“I don’t like songs with too many chords!”
The tooting horns and jungle beat
Make young people move their feet
The Charleston is quite a scare
So I’ll force all dancers into squares!
That’s right! Henry Ford heavily promoted square dancing as his corrective for all the urban jazz he hated so much. It’s why we all had to take it in grade school. Let’s see, square dancing involves one person on stage telling everyone else exactly what to do. Why, that’s not dancing, that’s TYRANNY!
Beep Beep! Outta the way
What’s wrong with these kids today?
Their music’s bad, there’s no denying it
So it must be a plot by Zionists!
Music was good before
How great was the Civil War?
Yeah, people died, I guess that’s wrong
But it’s a small price for such great songs!
Just keep that music free
of all the ethnic syncopation
Sonic impurities
are a mark of too much immigration
It’s got to be an evil plot
each week new tunes assault the ears
No one needs this many songs
“I made 1 product for 18 years!”
Beep Beep! Outta the way!
Will jazz destroy the USA?
This old man thinks it’s true
And he blames it on the Jews
And he is gonna use
All his capital to spew
All his racist views today!
Beep! Beep!")
![This is How You Tie a Bow Tie [Music Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/SZuUE3NKt70/mqdefault.jpg "This is How You Tie a Bow Tie [Music Video]
A catchy song to help you remember how to tie a bow tie. By comedian/musician Rob Paravonian.
This is the first video from my new series of Tip Songs, a series of music videos with helpful hints and tips set to catchy tunes. Look for more soon!
Many thanks to Rachel Blithe, Delissa Reynolds, and Bar Sepia in Brooklyn for help with bubbles, balloons, confetti and props.")
