Uploaded February 2023 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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(tw: s*icide)

Doing a second cover of this song in SynthV as opposed to UTAU! Ever since this song released, it's meant a lot to me. Roro-chan was a real girl who died too young, and as someone who has survived a few attempts in the past, I really feel for her and her story. "神聖かまってちゃん" does a great job of expressing the tragedy of teenage suicide as well as struggling with poor mental health in general. A lot of days I'm still sad, as shown spectacularly through my mood tracker, but I'm better. Maybe I'm not happy all the time, but I want to make it through the night, and if that doesn't count for something I don't know what does. I've got a video essay in the works on the topic of the animation/MV for this song, but I'm not sure when it'll come out because I'm nowhere near happy with the script I've written.
In the mean time, for anyone struggling--
Find joy in small things, make goals to look forward to, make your own happiness. Let yourself cry, let yourself be sad and angry and hurt. Choose to not wait for others to help you but help yourself instead. Instead of waiting for someone to notice you, tell them you're hurting. Find a shoulder to cry on, a song to let you escape, a cat to gently rest in your lap. Do things that would make your younger self happy and proud.
I won't lie when I say I didn't think I'd make it to this point in my life. A birthday of mine is coming up soon and I'd never planned for a number so high, let alone last year's.
All this to say there are things worth sticking around for. I've got projects planned and friends to hug and games to play and shows to watch and cats to gently kiss on their foreheads. Stay safe out there.

original: youtube.com/watch?v=hc0ZDaAZQT0
illustration: picrew.me/image_maker/191322
bg: The Garden of Words (言の葉の庭)
tuning/mixing/svp/video: moony (me)
voicebank: SynthV Kevin