![Sappy Commercial Sends Terrible Message [52 Sellout Bonus 1] @paravonian](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Giz668SJ4bQ/sddefault.jpg)
Uploaded May 2016 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
State Farm has been running this “Never” ad for years now, and it’s sneaky evil. Scratch the surface and it goes from being sappy happy to cynical and depressing. Thanks State Farm!
State Farm has been running this “Never” ad for years now, and it’s sneaky evil. Scratch the surface and it goes from being sappy happy to cynical and depressing. Thanks State Farm!
![Sappy Commercial Sends Terrible Message [52 Sellout Bonus 1]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Giz668SJ4bQ/mqdefault.jpg "Sappy Commercial Sends Terrible Message [52 Sellout Bonus 1]
State Farm has been running this “Never” ad for years now, and it’s sneaky evil. Scratch the surface and it goes from being sappy happy to cynical and depressing. Thanks State Farm!")
![El Inmolado The Hottest Hot Sauce Ever! [52 Sellout Week 12]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IfTmJRroIKw/mqdefault.jpg "El Inmolado The Hottest Hot Sauce Ever! [52 Sellout Week 12]
Other hot sauces pale in comparison to the holy burning inferno of El Inmolado!
Are you one of those a-holes who says that no hot sauce could possibly be hot enough for you? El Inmolado will shut you up, permanently.
Made from a proprietary genetically modified Naga Viper pepper into which we have spliced the DNA of a capsaicinoid ancestor from the early Mesozoic. Its the pepper that killed the dinosaurs.
It is the hottest sauce theoretically possible, measuring 53 million on the Scoville scale. It contains a neurotoxin that changes your perception of pain so the burning lasts long after youve cut out your tongue.
El Inmolado! Illegal in 17 states!
El Inmolado! Invalidates every health insurance policy in North America!
El Inmolado! Its the last hot sauce youll ever try!
El Inmolado! Sacrifice yourself. To the flavor!")
![We will underline any word on any surface! [52 Sellout Week 39]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JExRIJRI5CE/mqdefault.jpg "We will underline any word on any surface! [52 Sellout Week 39]
Get attention! Look important! Be louder than the rest! All with underlining! American Underlining has been underlining words for 50 years!
I’m not sure what to make of this week’s 52 Sellout but for some reason this is the idea I ran with: a company that underlines words. The important thing for a pitch man to remember is to be excited about any product or service no matter how ridiculous it may seem (R.I.P. Billy Mays).")
![Baby in a Bar [Live at The Bell House, BK]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JdW9pzAdJCk/mqdefault.jpg "Baby in a Bar [Live at The Bell House, BK]
I used to get mad when I saw babies in bars, but then I realized it’s not the baby’s fault, so I wrote this.")
![[Who Charted?] All About That Bass](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JosHaXLp9WY/mqdefault.jpg "[Who Charted?] All About That Bass
Rob P. reviews Meghan Trainor’s hit All About That Bass")
![Satanic Panic [Official Lyric Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/KCAH9zTCMZE/mqdefault.jpg "Satanic Panic [Official Lyric Video]
From the album The American Songbook: Redacted by Rob Paravonian
Check out album on bandcamp: https://robprocks.bandcamp.com/album/the-american-songbook-redacted
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/0gx9MayBjKdRao6azDRWLG
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/the-american-songbook-redacted/1646865974
or buy an actual, physical CD at my online store! https://robprocks.com/product/the-american-songbook-redacted/
Background
In the 80s & 90s cops, news anchors, and Geraldo Rivera were convinced Satanic Cults were regularly abducting and killing people all over the world. People went to jail, lives were ruined, and warning labels started showing up on rock records. That there was never any corroborating evidence didnt seem to bother anyone.
Articles mentioned at the end:
New Yorker: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1993/05/17/remembering-satan-part-i
CBC Podcast: https://www.cbc.ca/listen/cbc-podcasts/472-satanic-panic
Witch Hunt movie: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1196112/?ref tt_urv
Capital Daily https://www.capitaldaily.ca/news/satanic-ritual-abuse-michelle-remembers-lawrence-pazder-victoria
Lyrics:
You got someone to interrogate
Their stories are boring, it’s not going great
Tell them they gotta give you more
If they don’t give you demons don’t let them out the door
Maybe slip them some occult information
Let them imagine, invite speculation
Tell them they could never take it too far
Cuz you learned about this a one-day seminar
Satanic Panic!
Everyone needs a foe
You wanna feel right, you need someone to fight
And the devil is the devil you know
Satanic Panic!
Seek him and you shall find
That the devil is everywhere
Cuz he’s coming out of your mind (what, are you blind?!)
We’re terrified of corrupting youth
So afraid we don’t have time for the truth
So we take our fears and pin them all
On some sort of super secret global cabal
We’ll subject everything to our devil inspection
Movies and games, our kids’ record collection
And if we don’t find what we need in the lyrics
F*** it, play it backwards maybe then we can hear it
Satanic Panic!
See the world through this paranoid view
Dungeons and Dragons, that freak Bilbo Baggins
Hell, Yoda’s prob’ly in on it too
Satanic Panic!
He’ll show up if you just say his name
You sit on your sofa while Geraldo and Oprah
Pump hysteria straight to your brain
Bad things in this world aren’t a mystery
Take a look at all of human history
Looking for trauma? You won’t have far to search
You can find some caused by the catholic church
(or a wrestling program, or a gymnastics program. Look, I’m not saying all of those things, but some, and any is too many. And my point is its not international devil cults or Hollywood billionaires underneath a pizza parlor. Its people. Sometimes people suck!)
Satanic Panic!
No evidence is ever found
Life is confusing but when you’re accusing
It feels like you’re on moral high ground
Satanic Panic!
It’ll leave your logic impaired
When stories are ominous something flips on in us
And we cant stop running scared
When stories are ominous something flips on in us
And we cant stop running scared")
