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FRESH PRINCESS | Philosophy Friday: On Criticism | Fresh P @Thefreshp | Uploaded August 2015 | Updated October 2024, 13 hours ago.
My hope with today's Philosophy Friday: On Criticism, is that you take a moment to look at your own behaviors and see those that are serving to connect you with those around you and let go of those behaviors that serve to distance you from others.

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According the the research of relationship experts John and Julie Gottman the four henchmen of a relationship are:

Criticism
Stating one’s complaints as a defect in one’s partner’s personality, i.e., giving the partner negative trait attributions. Example: “You always talk about yourself. You are so selfish.”

Contempt
Statements that come from a relative position of superiority. Contempt is the greatest predictor of divorce and must be eliminated. Example: “You’re an idiot.”

Defensiveness
Self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victim-hood. Defensiveness wards off a perceived attack. Example: “It’s not my fault that we’re always late; it’s your fault.”

Stonewalling
Emotional withdrawal from interaction. Example: The listener does not give the speaker the usual nonverbal signals that the listener is “tracking” the speaker.

Don't do these things.

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Philosophy Friday: On Criticism | Fresh P @Thefreshp

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