Uploaded May 2023 | Updated September 2026, 2 days ago
Here are some principles that I think are important for establishing and maintaining good boundaries in your life.
Boundaries Must Be Communicated
Like we say to our little kids...if you need to set better boundaries between you and another person, “Use your words.” Tell them, “This is okay.” And, “this is not okay.”
Boundaries Must Be Clear
Invisible fences are good for dogs but bad for people. If its looks like there isn’t a boundary between me and you, I will be more likely to approach you. If you need a boundary between me and you...help me to see it.
Boundaries Must Be Consistent
Good fences don’t move. Don’t move your fence because you think it’s what you need to do to be more likeable. I think consistency provides for more security and being more secure in a relationship creates a space where love can be experienced more consistently.
Boundaries Must Be Compassionate
You may be reluctant to set a good boundary because you believe that fences are intrinsically negative and hurtful. They aren’t...and they definitely don’t have to be! You may be wounded, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to put up an electrified barbed-wire fence.
That being said, you may have someone in your life who is not safe.
I just think I need to say—in regards to our interpersonal relationships—being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to recklessly expose yourself to people who are consistently not safe...or condemn yourself to a life of constantly having to scrape their dog’s poop off of your shoes.
Some Boundaries Must Be UnCrossable.
If your neighbor is a psycho...you need a fence that IS uncrossable, right?
#relationshipadvice #boundaries #goodboundariesareselfcare #marriageadvice #marriage #relationshipadvice
Here are some principles that I think are important for establishing and maintaining good boundaries in your life.
Boundaries Must Be Communicated
Like we say to our little kids...if you need to set better boundaries between you and another person, “Use your words.” Tell them, “This is okay.” And, “this is not okay.”
Boundaries Must Be Clear
Invisible fences are good for dogs but bad for people. If its looks like there isn’t a boundary between me and you, I will be more likely to approach you. If you need a boundary between me and you...help me to see it.
Boundaries Must Be Consistent
Good fences don’t move. Don’t move your fence because you think it’s what you need to do to be more likeable. I think consistency provides for more security and being more secure in a relationship creates a space where love can be experienced more consistently.
Boundaries Must Be Compassionate
You may be reluctant to set a good boundary because you believe that fences are intrinsically negative and hurtful. They aren’t...and they definitely don’t have to be! You may be wounded, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to put up an electrified barbed-wire fence.
That being said, you may have someone in your life who is not safe.
I just think I need to say—in regards to our interpersonal relationships—being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to recklessly expose yourself to people who are consistently not safe...or condemn yourself to a life of constantly having to scrape their dog’s poop off of your shoes.
Some Boundaries Must Be UnCrossable.
If your neighbor is a psycho...you need a fence that IS uncrossable, right?
#relationshipadvice #boundaries #goodboundariesareselfcare #marriageadvice #marriage #relationshipadvice
