trainerlyra | no one taught you || soulsilvershipping @trainerlyra3 | Uploaded 7 years ago | Updated 5 hours ago
vent vent vent vent vent
(this gets rambly and incoherent please ignore me. i probably won't be answering any comments on this sorry.)
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ahahaha i don't even know what my problem is tbh everything has been going fine for the most part i just saw my friends and went out with them and it's not like there's anything wrong with kyle and i but

in the back of my mind there are these lingering thoughts that just never seem to go away no matter how okay i'm doing i can't escape and i don't know why i even try sometimes tbh

i'm never going to be 'okay' in the way that other people are that's part of trauma that's part of losing your best friend twice thats part of mental illness that's part of life.

i want to say goodbye properly, but now you're gone forever and there's nothing i can do about it besides cry at your grave and try to blame all of my sadness on you when you're not even here to stop me.

it's not just you, though, and you know that.

there's so much more i want to write to scream to punch but i don't want to be looked at like an attention seeking whore when all i want to do is punch something and scream and cry so i guess i'll stop here.

i miss you.