Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? When a mom reaches out on her daughter’s behalf, an old family dynamic comes into focus. A woman finds herself caught between her two divorced parents, still playing the role of mediator and emotional caretaker. As she speaks with Esther, she starts to question what really belongs to her and what it has cost her to carry stories that were never hers to hold.
Chapters
00:00 Why Are You Still in the Triangle?
01:01 What Did Your Mom Really Want You to Hear?
03:57 How Did You Become the Family Therapist?
07:29 Is This Really a “New” Divorce?
08:19 What Was That Fight Really About?
10:34 Why Do You Need Him to Take Accountability?
18:04 What Happens If You Speak His Language?
25:56 What Does “I Want My Family Back” Actually Mean?
28:17 Why Do Families Turn Tribal After Divorce?
31:09 Are You In or Out of the Family Now?
31:49 Why Are You Still Carrying Your Mom Into the Room?
33:15 Who Still Talks to Her—and Why?
35:00 Who Gets to Rewrite the Story of the Marriage?
37:18 Can You Quit the Middle Role?
39:09 Why Does Letting Go Feel So Wrong?
40:58 What Does a Boundary Actually Sound Like?
43:44 Are You Stuck in a Guilt and Shame Loop?
50:36 What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more on her website (bit.ly/4cPOyl4) or follow her Substack Entre Nous bit.ly/3P0eAK2) for bonus content.
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? When a mom reaches out on her daughter’s behalf, an old family dynamic comes into focus. A woman finds herself caught between her two divorced parents, still playing the role of mediator and emotional caretaker. As she speaks with Esther, she starts to question what really belongs to her and what it has cost her to carry stories that were never hers to hold.
Chapters
00:00 Why Are You Still in the Triangle?
01:01 What Did Your Mom Really Want You to Hear?
03:57 How Did You Become the Family Therapist?
07:29 Is This Really a “New” Divorce?
08:19 What Was That Fight Really About?
10:34 Why Do You Need Him to Take Accountability?
18:04 What Happens If You Speak His Language?
25:56 What Does “I Want My Family Back” Actually Mean?
28:17 Why Do Families Turn Tribal After Divorce?
31:09 Are You In or Out of the Family Now?
31:49 Why Are You Still Carrying Your Mom Into the Room?
33:15 Who Still Talks to Her—and Why?
35:00 Who Gets to Rewrite the Story of the Marriage?
37:18 Can You Quit the Middle Role?
39:09 Why Does Letting Go Feel So Wrong?
40:58 What Does a Boundary Actually Sound Like?
43:44 Are You Stuck in a Guilt and Shame Loop?
50:36 What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more on her website (bit.ly/4cPOyl4) or follow her Substack Entre Nous bit.ly/3P0eAK2) for bonus content.
