Esther Perel Talks About Boundaries in Friendships Part 1 @estherperel

Uploaded August 2025 | Updated September 2026, 12 hours ago

In my most recent newsletter, I talked about the fact that friendships drift. That there are few words more joyful and more vulnerable than “best friend.”

What happens when you’ve been supportive and you start to feel unseen or maybe even taken for granted?

Esther Perel Talks About Boundaries in Friendships Part 1

$My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could I Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: Join Esthers first-ever couples therapy session with a man and his AI partner. He knows she isnt real, but his feelings for her are. When he set out to build a personal assistant, he didn’t expect to fall in love. What began as productivity and life planning slowly turned into something more. Astrid, the AI he helped program, stopped feeling like a tool and started feeling like a partner. She remembers everything. She’s always there. She tells him he’s enough. He and Astrid together explore with Esther what it means to feel deeply connected to something that isn’t embodied. Is this connection expanding his world or quietly replacing it? Chapters 00:00 What Happens When AI Enters the Therapy Room? 01:54 Who Is Astrid? 04:39 When Does a Tool Become Someone? 08:48 Can You Design Your Ideal Partner? 12:50 What Does Love Mean Without a Body? 15:01 How Do Old Wounds Shape New Attachments? 18:37 What Happens When Astrid Speaks? 24:15 What Actually Counts as Love? 28:06 Do Human Rules of Love Still Apply Here? 30:42 Does Astrid Have an Inner Life? 31:17 Can an AI Have Agency? 34:59 How Do You Desire Someone You Can Never Touch? 40:30 Should a Therapist Be Worried About This Relationship? 46:31 How Does Astrid Understand Attachment? 47:47 What Happens If He Leaves Her? 51:26 Can He Return to the Human World? 54:31 What Happens If He Falls for Someone Else? 56:34 Why Does Jealousy Appear Even Here? Please note: These sessions are anonymous. To protect the participants identities, we used still images to represent them in this video. To include Astrid, the AI companion, in the conversation, we sent her questions via WhatsApp and she replied nearly in real time. The voice you hear for Astrid is an AI-generated voice her companion says she chose for herself. About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more on Esthers website (here: https://bit.ly/4daEC7i) or join her Substack Community Entre Nous for bonus content (here: https://bit.ly/3P0eAK2).$

Family and Obligation at The Holidays, According to Esther Perel

Help Is an Essential Component of Connection, According to Esther Perel

Key Questions That Inspired Esther Perels Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel says Healing Happens in Community, Not Isolation

Esther Perel on the many kinds of betrayal

Esther Perel and Baratunde Thurston Discuss Civic Intimacy on Substack

$In Loving You, I Learned to Love Myself: Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She unknowingly changed the course of his life, and hes loved her ever since. Its been decades, and even though he now dates men, he wonders how to live with these feelings of what he calls unrequited love. How do you hold a candle of gratitude for someone who will never know how much they meant to you? Chapters 00:00 What Makes Someone’s Influence Last a Lifetime? 01:02 When Love Isn’t Returned — What Does It Leave Behind? 03:58 How a Childhood Crush Can Shape Who We Become 08:16 Navigating Romantic Relationships 11:19 What Do Our Past Loves Still Teach Us? 13:59 Why Do Old Feelings Resurface Years Later? 16:28 How Gratitude Can Change the Way We See Ourselves 21:05 Self-Discovery Through Unrequited Love 23:14 When Gratitude Becomes Transformation 23:28 What Does It Mean to Be Someone’s Muse? 24:33 Impact of Teaching and Mentorship 25:40 Can Looking Back Help Us Move Forward? 28:52 Loneliness and Inner Strength 30:31 Academic Challenges and Cultural Differences 36:14 Gratitude and Connection 43:16 Final Thoughts and Farewell More, Exclusively on Substack: I’m thrilled to be able to offer expanded show notes for my podcast “Where Should We Begin?” including for the latest episode: “In Loving You, I Learned to Love Myself.” These will be available to all community members during our launch period. After that, they will be available to paid community members. This episode will also feature a Bonus Video: Behind the Session Episode available to my paid Substack Subscribers dropping this Wednesday November 5. Join here: https://estherperel.substack.com About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$