Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the one who proves he's a good man by making sure no one falls apart on his watch. It’s a hero complex he wears easily. If he’s needed, he feels powerful. If he’s not, he feels invisible. He’s the strong one, the reliable one, and yet he rarely asks for help himself. Can he be loved not just for what he gives, but for who he is?
Chapters
00:00 Why Do I Want to Save People?
00:51 What Happens in a First Therapy Session?
01:33 Why Did My Ex Call Me in Crisis?
02:28 Did We Build Our Relationship on Shared Pain?
03:55 Was I Trying to Rescue Her?
09:32 Do People Need Me or Love Me?
13:49 Am I a Nurse More Than a Partner?
17:00 Why Am I Drawn to Broken People?
19:14 Where Does the Hero Complex Come From?
21:35 Why Is Vulnerability Harder Than Helping?
26:09 Can I Learn to Receive Instead of Rescue?
29:11 What Truth Am I Afraid to Tell Her?
31:22 What Happens When I Put Myself First?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by subscribing to her Substack Entre Nous.
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the one who proves he's a good man by making sure no one falls apart on his watch. It’s a hero complex he wears easily. If he’s needed, he feels powerful. If he’s not, he feels invisible. He’s the strong one, the reliable one, and yet he rarely asks for help himself. Can he be loved not just for what he gives, but for who he is?
Chapters
00:00 Why Do I Want to Save People?
00:51 What Happens in a First Therapy Session?
01:33 Why Did My Ex Call Me in Crisis?
02:28 Did We Build Our Relationship on Shared Pain?
03:55 Was I Trying to Rescue Her?
09:32 Do People Need Me or Love Me?
13:49 Am I a Nurse More Than a Partner?
17:00 Why Am I Drawn to Broken People?
19:14 Where Does the Hero Complex Come From?
21:35 Why Is Vulnerability Harder Than Helping?
26:09 Can I Learn to Receive Instead of Rescue?
29:11 What Truth Am I Afraid to Tell Her?
31:22 What Happens When I Put Myself First?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by subscribing to her Substack Entre Nous.
