Esther Perel on the Role of Rules in a Family System @estherperel

Uploaded November 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago

Let's talk a bit about rules.

Esther Perel on the Role of Rules in a Family System

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$I Have a Crush on a Coworker | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She has a crush on her coworker, which feels thrilling and unsettling all at once. Fresh off a divorce and shaped by earlier relationships marked by instability and self doubt, she worries she may be confusing desire with grief or slipping back into old patterns. As she sorts through the pull she feels toward her coworker, Esther helps her explore what this new spark might actually mean. Together, they look at how to trust her instincts, honor the reawakening she feels, and let something new unfold at a pace that she can savor. Chapters 00:00 How to Embrace New Crushes After Loss? 01:33 What Happens When Attraction Enters the Workplace? 03:15 Why Do Excitement and Doubt Appear Together? 08:49 What Old Patterns Are Being Reawakened? 21:10 How Do Survival Instincts Shape Love After Abuse? 31:02 What From the Past Is Still Influencing the Present? 32:27 Is This a New Beginning or a Familiar Story? 34:08 What Does It Mean to Take a Relationship Slowly? 36:47 How Do You Know When Feelings Are Mutual? 41:15 Why Do Friends See What We Miss? 45:11 How Do You Balance Your Heart and Your Head? 48:39 When Can You Trust Yourself Again? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$

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$Single at 40 and Never Had a Relationship Over 5 Months | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: In this classic Esther Calling, Esther meets a man who’s never been in a relationship for more than five months. As he approaches age 40, he knows the reason lies with him, and not the women he’s dating. Esther encourages him to look back and see if the clues can be found in his early parental relationships. Perhaps the work starts there. Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism Chapters 00:00 Introduction: The Quest for Love 01:25 A Pattern of Anxiety in Relationships 08:57 Exploring Early Family Dynamics 09:11 Understanding the Impact of Parental Divorce 12:17 Revelations and Emotional Struggles 16:50 Connecting the Past to Present Relationships 22:21 Path to Healing and Moving Forward 25:46 Conclusion and Next Steps About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$

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