Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything “right.” In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries.
I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Aquino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don’t feel safe.
Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear.
If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey.
Find Noelle at:
noellemcwardaquino.com
instagram.com/noellemcwardaquino
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 The 3 Types of Anxiety Explained
00:27 Why Most Anxiety Is Misunderstood
01:55 Noelle's Journey Into Anxiety Therapy
05:58 The 3 Root Causes of Anxiety
06:19 Type #1: Catastrophizing Anxiety & Overthinking
08:22 Why Catastrophizing Leads to Rumination
09:03 Type #2: High-Functioning Anxiety & Control
10:57 Anxiety, Control & High-Functioning Codependency
12:05 Why Control Doesn't Create Peace
13:57 Type #3: Distorted Beliefs & Self-Worth
15:10 People Pleasing, Perfectionism & Anxiety
16:29 Why Your Brain Looks for Proof You're Not Enough
19:12 Why Identifying Your Anxiety Type Matters
21:03 How to Figure Out Your Anxiety Type
21:13 How to Stop Catastrophizing
22:28 The "What If" Exercise That Reduces Anxiety
25:08 Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety
27:23 Learning to Let Go of Control
28:08 Distorted Beliefs vs Reality
28:59 Perfectionism: Control or Low Self-Worth?
30:21 The Hidden Cost of Negative Self-Talk
32:21 Why Anxiety Resists Change
33:24 Why Successful People Struggle to Let Go
35:49 "I'm Just Lucky" — The Hidden Sign of Low Self-Worth
37:30 Why Understanding Your Story Helps You Heal
38:08 People Pleasing, Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
39:53 Where to Find Noelle
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/DBFZb2Sk9uI - How To Feel Calm Again When Anxiety Takes Over
youtu.be/CyfZzQ_p_eg - Anxiety Relief: Methods to Calm Your Nervous System
youtu.be/UIyftda8CUw - The Mind-Body Connection: Healing Chronic Pain and Anxiety Through Emotions
youtu.be/vwgisgMmEYM - 5 Ways to Manage Fear and Anxiety
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#AnxietyRecovery #HighFunctioningAnxiety #Overthinking #EmotionalHealing #SelfWorth #PeoplePleasing #anxiety
Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything “right.” In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries.
I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Aquino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don’t feel safe.
Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear.
If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey.
Find Noelle at:
noellemcwardaquino.com
instagram.com/noellemcwardaquino
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 The 3 Types of Anxiety Explained
00:27 Why Most Anxiety Is Misunderstood
01:55 Noelle's Journey Into Anxiety Therapy
05:58 The 3 Root Causes of Anxiety
06:19 Type #1: Catastrophizing Anxiety & Overthinking
08:22 Why Catastrophizing Leads to Rumination
09:03 Type #2: High-Functioning Anxiety & Control
10:57 Anxiety, Control & High-Functioning Codependency
12:05 Why Control Doesn't Create Peace
13:57 Type #3: Distorted Beliefs & Self-Worth
15:10 People Pleasing, Perfectionism & Anxiety
16:29 Why Your Brain Looks for Proof You're Not Enough
19:12 Why Identifying Your Anxiety Type Matters
21:03 How to Figure Out Your Anxiety Type
21:13 How to Stop Catastrophizing
22:28 The "What If" Exercise That Reduces Anxiety
25:08 Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety
27:23 Learning to Let Go of Control
28:08 Distorted Beliefs vs Reality
28:59 Perfectionism: Control or Low Self-Worth?
30:21 The Hidden Cost of Negative Self-Talk
32:21 Why Anxiety Resists Change
33:24 Why Successful People Struggle to Let Go
35:49 "I'm Just Lucky" — The Hidden Sign of Low Self-Worth
37:30 Why Understanding Your Story Helps You Heal
38:08 People Pleasing, Boundaries & Healthy Relationships
39:53 Where to Find Noelle
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/DBFZb2Sk9uI - How To Feel Calm Again When Anxiety Takes Over
youtu.be/CyfZzQ_p_eg - Anxiety Relief: Methods to Calm Your Nervous System
youtu.be/UIyftda8CUw - The Mind-Body Connection: Healing Chronic Pain and Anxiety Through Emotions
youtu.be/vwgisgMmEYM - 5 Ways to Manage Fear and Anxiety
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#AnxietyRecovery #HighFunctioningAnxiety #Overthinking #EmotionalHealing #SelfWorth #PeoplePleasing #anxiety
