Uploaded June 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
Some musical thoughts on John Bolton and his new book “The Room Where it Happened.”
Lyrics:
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
You’re beyond revoltin’
For the facts you’ve been withholding
So f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
He said that he was in the room
where everything occurred
He noted all the gloom and doom
but when asked he just demurred
When there was something he could do
he didn’t testify
He said, “I think I’ll write a book!
to deliver all the dish
About abetting total crooks
I’m such a little bish
A big cash advance I took
and hung my country out to dry
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
You could’ve told ‘em
While all this was unfolding
So f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
You knew that a-hole was unfit
but you let it slide
To do the neo-right wing shit
that you could pull off from inside
You got yours and then you quit
(or got fired) and then walked away whistling
You knew the danger in our midst
but you looked the other way
Your chance for decency was missed
you own the way things are today
You covered for the arsonist
So to now play the fireman just leaves us bristling
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book.
It’s too late to be scoldin’
The tyrant you’ve emboldened
So f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book.
Some musical thoughts on John Bolton and his new book “The Room Where it Happened.”
Lyrics:
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
You’re beyond revoltin’
For the facts you’ve been withholding
So f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
He said that he was in the room
where everything occurred
He noted all the gloom and doom
but when asked he just demurred
When there was something he could do
he didn’t testify
He said, “I think I’ll write a book!
to deliver all the dish
About abetting total crooks
I’m such a little bish
A big cash advance I took
and hung my country out to dry
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
You could’ve told ‘em
While all this was unfolding
So f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book
You knew that a-hole was unfit
but you let it slide
To do the neo-right wing shit
that you could pull off from inside
You got yours and then you quit
(or got fired) and then walked away whistling
You knew the danger in our midst
but you looked the other way
Your chance for decency was missed
you own the way things are today
You covered for the arsonist
So to now play the fireman just leaves us bristling
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton
F*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book.
It’s too late to be scoldin’
The tyrant you’ve emboldened
So f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book.
![Drug Company Price Gouging as a 90s Infomercial [52 Sellout Week 37]
Everyone hates Pharma Bro, but what if we present his scheme as a 90s money-making infomercial? Would he still seem as horrible and hatable? Yeah, probably. Drug Company Price Gouging as a 90s Infomercial [52 Sellout Week 37]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MVI8N1d8ik0/mqdefault.jpg)






![Janky Xmas Trees! [52 Sellout Week 49]
Sure, you could buy a nice tree from a reputable retailer, but why not just get a janky tree from the guy who moved his trailer onto your block? It’s the holidays! You don’t have time to be running all over for a fancy tree! Janky Xmas Trees! [52 Sellout Week 49]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NZKUc_4wRz4/mqdefault.jpg)

![Flashback Wife by Rob Paravonian
Dedicated to the (formerly) unsung hero of many action and drama films. (Spoiler/trigger warning: there is a car accident)
Clips are from: John Wick (2014), Looper (2012), Lethal Weapon (1987), Seven Pounds (2008), Finding Nemo (2003), The Crow (1994), End of Days (1999), Inception (2010), Gladiator (2000), Up (2009), Robocop (1984) [edit: 1987, sorry!]
Words & Music by Rob Paravonian
Here are the lyrics:
The hero of the movie is broken
how did he get this way?
He once had a world that was happy
but that world was taken away
We need to feel
how this loss ruined his life
That’s when we get to meet
Flashback Wife
Flashback Wife is always happy
She’s always running through the fields
Sometimes she plays with children
And we hear their joyous squeals
Flashback Wife is never subtle
Her love hits us over the head
Flashback Wife was perfect,
now she’s dead
There were never any problems
in that relationship of yore
The only thing they ever fought about
was who loved the other more
There were no money issues
or horrible in-laws
Life was sunshine and roses
and she was the cause
Flashback Wife plays to the cheap seats
Her love is always grand
She always seems to mention
Some dreamy future plans
And never ages
since the day she was a bride
Flashback Wife was perfect
until she died
Robocop, John Wick,
Lethal Weapon and 7 Pounds
is where you can go
To see Flashback Wife
and don’t forget
Looper, Up, and the Crow
She’s in so many movies
She gets a lot of work
She gets used so we can excuse
A protagonist that’s a jerk
Flashback Wife has a sense of humor
And she’s usually pretty hot
But she had to die,
and everyone knows why
But she had to die
or there’d be no plot
Thank you flashback wife
I’m sorry you had to go
But thanks to you
we’ll all enjoy the show Flashback Wife by Rob Paravonian](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Nzr64Gci_NE/mqdefault.jpg)
![Particle Board [Lyrics Video]
My ode to cheap furniture. This is the album version from 2001’s Living it Down, available in Spotify, iTunes, and others. I also played this song on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend in 2001.
Here are the lyrics:
I took a good look at my life
What I saw I didn’t like
‘cause there was nothing that was built to last
Underneath all the cheap veneers
There’s nothing that can stand the years
It all falls apart so fast
Particle Board,
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It’s all I can afford, particle board
Particle Board
Is this what I’ve been working my whole life for?
For walls and a door and particle board
I have to live my life alone
‘Cause if I ever bring a woman home
She’ll take one look at my place and any chance is blown
I guess that I’d have to admit
A guy looks like he can’t commit
When a hex wrench can dismantle anything he owns
Particle board
If I ever move I’ll leave it here on the floor
To move would cost more than my particle board
Particle board
My life sucks and it can’t be ignored
All I can afford is particle board
I tried to live my life without things to tie me down
That’s why I only buy crap I won’t miss if I skip town
But now I see that I can’t live my life like this forever
I’d like to own some furniture I don’t have to put together
Solo
I took a good look at my life, what I saw I didn’t like
It made me want to run away and hide
Just one look around my home shows that everything I own
Is all leaning to one side
Particle Board,
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It’s all I can afford, particle board
Particle board
My life sucks and it can’t be ignored
All I can afford is particle board
Particle Board
Is this what I’ve been working my whole life for?
For walls and a door and particle board
Particle Board,
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It’s all I can afford, particle board Particle Board [Lyrics Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/O4si8w8WMFc/mqdefault.jpg)