Uploaded August 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
I don’t know who this person is
But one of the people who has the most impact on my life
Is the person who decides when grub expires
And writes that date on my food.
There’s a human in a factory, a hero in my eyes
Armed with a marker and wisdom, they’re saving all our lives
When the yogurt’s looking sketchy, when the bread looks kind of late
I just squint and find salvation in that little printed date
‘Cause my sense of smell ain’t that great (no it ain’t)
And my sense of taste ain’t that great (I’ve got a bad pal ate)
I can’t tell if it’s time for my food to go
So I rely on what the expiration date hero knows
Some person tells me:
“Eat your food by this date!”
Or “Throw it out on that date!”
And I oblige
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
If my milk is the wrong color or it looks like something’s growing in my food
I just check the expiration date - if it’s good then I’m good
If it says it’s good, then I’m good, no reason to debate
And if I get sick, it’s from a bug, not from my dinner plate
‘Cause my sense of smell ain’t that great (no it ain’t)
And my sense of taste ain’t that great (I’ve got a bad pal ate)
I can’t tell if it’s time for my food to go
So I rely on what the expiration date hero knows
I’ll bet you can’t be a gambler if you want the job of writing expiration dates on foods
‘Cause you can’t roll the dice and gamble with people’s lives
By stamping wrong dates on things we eat with forks and knives
And you sure as heck cannot gamble
With expiration dates of liquids that people put in cups with handles
Some person tells me:
“Eat your food by this date!”
Or “Throw it out on that date!”
And I oblige
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
So to summate
Hats off to the people who write down expiration dates
I think you’re great
sir or ma’am, oh my gosh, I think you’re great
Ohhh, this is not up for debate
Sir or ma’am, expiration date hero
I hope you get a medal soon cuz
Because I think you’re great
I don’t know who this person is
But one of the people who has the most impact on my life
Is the person who decides when grub expires
And writes that date on my food.
There’s a human in a factory, a hero in my eyes
Armed with a marker and wisdom, they’re saving all our lives
When the yogurt’s looking sketchy, when the bread looks kind of late
I just squint and find salvation in that little printed date
‘Cause my sense of smell ain’t that great (no it ain’t)
And my sense of taste ain’t that great (I’ve got a bad pal ate)
I can’t tell if it’s time for my food to go
So I rely on what the expiration date hero knows
Some person tells me:
“Eat your food by this date!”
Or “Throw it out on that date!”
And I oblige
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
If my milk is the wrong color or it looks like something’s growing in my food
I just check the expiration date - if it’s good then I’m good
If it says it’s good, then I’m good, no reason to debate
And if I get sick, it’s from a bug, not from my dinner plate
‘Cause my sense of smell ain’t that great (no it ain’t)
And my sense of taste ain’t that great (I’ve got a bad pal ate)
I can’t tell if it’s time for my food to go
So I rely on what the expiration date hero knows
I’ll bet you can’t be a gambler if you want the job of writing expiration dates on foods
‘Cause you can’t roll the dice and gamble with people’s lives
By stamping wrong dates on things we eat with forks and knives
And you sure as heck cannot gamble
With expiration dates of liquids that people put in cups with handles
Some person tells me:
“Eat your food by this date!”
Or “Throw it out on that date!”
And I oblige
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
Otherwise I’d be sick all the time
So to summate
Hats off to the people who write down expiration dates
I think you’re great
sir or ma’am, oh my gosh, I think you’re great
Ohhh, this is not up for debate
Sir or ma’am, expiration date hero
I hope you get a medal soon cuz
Because I think you’re great
