Esther Perel & How Paying for Help Before Asking a Friend Contributes to Loneliness @estherperel

Uploaded October 2025 | Updated September 2026, 8 hours ago

Asking for help is one way that we connect to each other. When we’re afraid to be a burden and so we pay for the babysitter or anyone to help us with all things, we miss out on the opportunities to lean on our friends as well as to return the favor later.

Esther Perel & How Paying for Help Before Asking a Friend Contributes to Loneliness

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$Our Sex Life is a Disaster I Where Should We Begin With Esther Perel? On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: We hear from two wives who are expecting their first child. Theyre happily married, except for one thing: their sex life. In moments of intimacy, one freezes, the other hesitates, and they end up locked in a cycle of uncertainty and distress. On the precipice of becoming parents, they come to Esther worried about how their sex life might further deteriorate in this next stage of life. Is it possible to restore the magical physical connection that they once felt? Esther guides them through somatic exercises to re-establish trust, discover pleasure, and help them move together from their minds into their bodies. Chapters 00:00 When Caretaking Becomes a Relationship Pattern 01:52 Who Is This Couple Beneath the Surface? 02:25 What Happens When Desire Comes to a Standstill? 02:32 How Does Pregnancy Change Intimacy and Identity? 03:24 Can Difficult Conversations Bring Partners Closer? 03:54 How Did Their Love Story Really Begin? 07:40 How Do Childhood Stories Shape Adult Love? 10:02 Why Does Sexual Connection Feel So Hard? 12:46 Can Playfulness Revive Emotional and Physical Intimacy? 16:06 How Does Time Pressure Reshape Desire and Decisions? 16:32 What Does the IVF Journey Reveal About a Relationship? 18:14 Are They Partners or Performing a Marriage? 19:35 Can Caretaking and Desire Coexist? 24:11 What Small Experiments Can Rekindle Connection? 27:53 Why Do Certain Emotions Feel So Explosive? 29:42 How Do Anger and Miscommunication Spiral? 32:49 What Lies Beneath Sexual Frustration? 34:52 How Much Space Does Love Really Need? 40:47 Who Holds Power in This Relationship? 49:39 What Patterns Keep Repeating in Their Love Story? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$

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$I Have a Crush on a Coworker | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel On this weeks episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: She has a crush on her coworker, which feels thrilling and unsettling all at once. Fresh off a divorce and shaped by earlier relationships marked by instability and self doubt, she worries she may be confusing desire with grief or slipping back into old patterns. As she sorts through the pull she feels toward her coworker, Esther helps her explore what this new spark might actually mean. Together, they look at how to trust her instincts, honor the reawakening she feels, and let something new unfold at a pace that she can savor. Chapters 00:00 How to Embrace New Crushes After Loss? 01:33 What Happens When Attraction Enters the Workplace? 03:15 Why Do Excitement and Doubt Appear Together? 08:49 What Old Patterns Are Being Reawakened? 21:10 How Do Survival Instincts Shape Love After Abuse? 31:02 What From the Past Is Still Influencing the Present? 32:27 Is This a New Beginning or a Familiar Story? 34:08 What Does It Mean to Take a Relationship Slowly? 36:47 How Do You Know When Feelings Are Mutual? 41:15 Why Do Friends See What We Miss? 45:11 How Do You Balance Your Heart and Your Head? 48:39 When Can You Trust Yourself Again? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or by following @EstherPerelOfficial on Instagram.$