Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 48 minutes ago
6-MINUTES: Did you know that God actually commanded divorce in cases where a husband refused to care for his wife at the minimum basic level? Here are two stories from the Old Testament that show how God used divorce to protect vulnerable low-status wives from coldhearted husbands.
1. God protected wives who had been enemy POWs captured in a battle. If a man chose to make a woman his wife, he had to give her the decency and respect of allowing for her to mourn for 30 days for her family before he could "go to her" (euphemism for sex). And if later on, he no longer wanted her as a wife (perhaps didn't want the expense of feeding and clothing her) he could not demote her to being a slave or sell her. He had to let her go wherever she wanted. She was free to remarry someone who would meet the minimum standards.
2. Let's just go straight to Scripture: Ex 21:7-11. This passage is the bedrock of Jewish marriage and divorce law in biblical times. It still is.
"7 “If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. 8 If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself,[a] he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. 9 If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. 10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. 11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money." (NIV)
God protected low-ranking wives. A low-ranking wife might be one who was used as a debt repayment. For example, a man who was in serious debt and couldn't repay his lender, might give his daughter to pay off the loan. This isn't a wife the lender necessarily wanted, was attracted to, or cared about, but the Law of Moses said he still had to meet minimum standards of care for her. Even if he took another wife, presumably someone he really did care about, he couldn't be miserly, negligent, or mean to Wife #1. He couldn't turn her into a slave and sell her. He was commanded to let her go, so she could marry someone else. The loan to her father was still deemed cancelled.
The ancient rabbis deduced that if a bondwoman (indentured servant) had those three rights, then "the minimal rights of a free married woman are deduced." (p. 126, Women and Jewish Law, by Rachel Biale) Meaning that if you are a free married woman then those three are rights you have.
That's the point I'm making here. That God gave this protection of a low-status woman, and THAT sets the minimum standard for all wives.
Abuse is not okay in the Bible, and a man who abuses and/or neglects is commanded to let his wife go, meaning to divorce her.
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
FOR A DISCUSSION OF Bible verses on divorce, read Chapter 6 in The Life-Saving Divorce book.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
Subscribe to Gretchen's You Tube channel: youtube.com/channel/UCRgtUNfTlYIRDt8iOK6XPKQ
Facebook: facebook.com/gretchen.baskerville
Twitter: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Instagram: instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
Top 50 Blog Posts by Topic: lifesavingdivorce.com/popular
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage
6-MINUTES: Did you know that God actually commanded divorce in cases where a husband refused to care for his wife at the minimum basic level? Here are two stories from the Old Testament that show how God used divorce to protect vulnerable low-status wives from coldhearted husbands.
1. God protected wives who had been enemy POWs captured in a battle. If a man chose to make a woman his wife, he had to give her the decency and respect of allowing for her to mourn for 30 days for her family before he could "go to her" (euphemism for sex). And if later on, he no longer wanted her as a wife (perhaps didn't want the expense of feeding and clothing her) he could not demote her to being a slave or sell her. He had to let her go wherever she wanted. She was free to remarry someone who would meet the minimum standards.
2. Let's just go straight to Scripture: Ex 21:7-11. This passage is the bedrock of Jewish marriage and divorce law in biblical times. It still is.
"7 “If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. 8 If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself,[a] he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. 9 If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. 10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. 11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money." (NIV)
God protected low-ranking wives. A low-ranking wife might be one who was used as a debt repayment. For example, a man who was in serious debt and couldn't repay his lender, might give his daughter to pay off the loan. This isn't a wife the lender necessarily wanted, was attracted to, or cared about, but the Law of Moses said he still had to meet minimum standards of care for her. Even if he took another wife, presumably someone he really did care about, he couldn't be miserly, negligent, or mean to Wife #1. He couldn't turn her into a slave and sell her. He was commanded to let her go, so she could marry someone else. The loan to her father was still deemed cancelled.
The ancient rabbis deduced that if a bondwoman (indentured servant) had those three rights, then "the minimal rights of a free married woman are deduced." (p. 126, Women and Jewish Law, by Rachel Biale) Meaning that if you are a free married woman then those three are rights you have.
That's the point I'm making here. That God gave this protection of a low-status woman, and THAT sets the minimum standard for all wives.
Abuse is not okay in the Bible, and a man who abuses and/or neglects is commanded to let his wife go, meaning to divorce her.
ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
FOR A DISCUSSION OF Bible verses on divorce, read Chapter 6 in The Life-Saving Divorce book.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
Subscribe to Gretchen's You Tube channel: youtube.com/channel/UCRgtUNfTlYIRDt8iOK6XPKQ
Facebook: facebook.com/gretchen.baskerville
Twitter: twitter.com/GGBaskerville
Instagram: instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville
Other helpful links
Website and Blog: LifeSavingDivorce.com
Top 50 Blog Posts by Topic: lifesavingdivorce.com/popular
Life-Saving Divorce Email Signup: LifeSavingDivorce.com/courage
