Uploaded November 2022 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago

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A parody of The Blues Brothers' "Almost" for all of those anons in Secret Santa who are Almost, but not quite assigned! What a feeling!


I got everything I need, almost!
I got everything I need, almost,
But I don't got you,
And you're the thing I need the most!

I bought a brushie and a jar.
A cutie mark.
I got plushies singin, “Hark!”
Now tell me, shark!

I got everything I need, almost!
I got everything I need, almost,
But I don't got you,
And you're the thing I need the most!

I got friends who like me
Cause I post lots of pone,
And I’ve been organising since
The day I was born!
I’ve got the best pony for a waif,
But if I don’t get assigned, well I habeeb I will die!

I got everything I need, almost!
I got everything I need, almost!
But I don't got you,
And you're the thing I need the most!

Hey Chompy! Hey Chompy! You ready for this year’s Secret Santa?
-Yeah, Chuckles, I’m ready!
You got lots of toys and goodies planned?
-Oh I do. I’ve got some really good ideas and new recipes I want to try out.
Oh yeah?
-Oh yeah, I’ve been perfecting these brownies all year long with some special batter. How about you Chuckles, are you ready to go?
Oh, Chompy! I’ve got! I’ve got music waiting in the wings! I’ve got giveaways and ornaments that I started in February! I’ve got a coherent theme and stickers and everything. But you know what I don’t have?
-What’s that Chuck?
You know what I don’t have?
-What’s that?
I don’t have an assignment!
-You don’t?
No, Chompy! Santa’s abandoned me! It’s been two days, and no assignment?
-Aw man, you know what?
What’s that?
-I don’t have one either.
Oh! Oh, Chompy! This is gonna be the year without a Horsemas! Santa! Santa, are you listening?

I got everything I need, almost!
I got everything I need, almost!
I got everything I need, almost!
I got everything I need, almost,
But I don't got you,
And you're the thing I need the most!