Uploaded October 2023 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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If you don't already know it, this Spooktober song is based on the absolutely classic Octascratch slashfic by the same name, which you can find here: fimfiction.net/story/36388/my-roommate-is-a-vampire
Definitely a good golden age fanfic and worth your time for the nostalgia if nothing else.

Many thanks to Gobiraptor, a for real life tea-and-crumpets-person for bringing her wonderful voice to Octavia.
Catch more of her endeavors at: twitter.com/Gobiraptor
https://bsky.app/profile/gobiraptor.bsky.social

Big thanks to ArwenCuack for the artwork (done months ago, lol, this song has languished in a folder for a long time waiting for Halloween to come around. It was actually done for a Busty's back in like April or something.) Find her art and comms at:
twitter.com/ArwenCuack/status/1682091059340255241
ko-fi.com/arwencuack/commissions

A monster attack? Blast!

How am I meant to practice with a monster?

Two room loft in Canterlot
Split the rent with a loud, obnoxious
Hot and gorgeous
(What am I saying?)
Rude and boisterous,
And a slob.
And her pants are off,
And her rooms a mess!
To be fair, in her defence,
She does the does the dishes, and the cups
She cleans them…with wubs.
Wakes up in the dead of night,
With her eyes all red and her coat is white
Dark, nocturnal
That infernal creature
Has me drooling- wait
I didn’t mean that…did I?
And I’m staying up til midnight
Just to spend the time with Scratch;
There’s a catch.
Bloodbag in the icebox,
Then our eyes locked,
And to my shock,
The fangs came out and
When they sank down
It was time to flip the lights off.
Teeth in my jugular
In the struggle blood
Pours and so do words
I’m in love with her
And it sounds absurd
But those aren’t the eyes
Of a murderer
Final kiss, final breath, final instant
But I guess that I broke through her instinct
So warm with her chest on my chest
Now I’ll lay me down to rest
But the death that lies
Behind those crimson eyes
Dies and I
Might survive to see the daylight

She’s a motherbuckin’ bloodsucker
Got the fans starstruck
Eyes red, undead creature of the night
With the too wide smile and the eyes like fire
Don’t deny it, Vinyl
My roommate is a vampire

Better be careful
Or you’ll end up a werewolf
It’s a miracle
That I’m here at all
Cause my roommate mare
Is nuttier than a pair of balls
Can’t bear to fall.
And I swear to all
The princesses
In Canterlot
I should be scared,
But the truth is dear,
I’m too damn queer to be
Scared at all.
No fear! That’s the spirit
Cello’s out, and it’s time to hear it
Drop the bass while I wash the taste
Of rabbit clear. Cheers! Oh dear it
Seems the fifth of gin and tonics gone
And so’s my phonics, darn,
Not even dawn so, Vinyl, darling
Grab another bottle; pop!
Let’s get lush,
Let’s get lit,
Let’s unlive a little bit.
Might be undead but
(Please excuse the language)
I don’t give a shit.
Whiskey down the hatch-
Next!
Tipsy have to laugh-
Just!
Call this track a smash-
Hit!
Half liquor and half-
Sex!
Like Katy Perry’s cherry chapstick
I’m addicted to this halfwit
Brash, erratic, captivated and
Snap a photo she has “Ze Magics”
Ghoulish grin with a girlish soul,
Break and enter and break the rules,
So damn loud and so damn cool,
No wonder I’ve been filly-fooled

She’s a motherbuckin’ bloodsucker
Got the fans starstruck
Eyes red, undead creature of the night
With the too wide smile and the eyes like fire
Don’t deny it, Vinyl
My roommate is a vampire

Know damn well she’s dangerous.
But are those fangs, or just
The way she grins? Delicious,
Lackadaisical and languorous
Intimate,
Physically indecent
Every day is an incident
I’m the tinder, and she’s the flint
And our kindred spirit lit this bitch,
Like gelignite in a rubbish bin
And the bomb goes off when the bass drops in
Vicious sinner, sinister and
Anything but innocent
Inner Circle, hitter, fixer
Big intimidator, bitch
Slugger, thug, enforcer horse.
And holy shit I’m into it.

She’s a motherbuckin’ bloodsucker
Got the fans starstruck
Eyes red, undead creature of the night
With the too wide smile and the eyes like fire
Don’t deny it, Vinyl
My roommate is a vampire
She’s a bloodsucker
Got the fans starstruck
Eyes red, undead creature of the night
With the too wide smile and the eyes like fire
Don’t deny it, Vinyl
My roommate is a vampire.