Uploaded October 2015 | Updated September 2026, 11 minutes ago
“That thing is hurt, Jay!” and by “that thing” I mean, MY HEART!
In the Boston Fish Guys video, MIkey says Jay’s name numerous times but Jay doesn’t say much back. Don’t shut Mikey out, Jay! Mikey just wants to share nature’s splendor with you!
If you haven't seen the viral video I’m talking about you can see it here: (warning: LOTS of swear words) facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fmikeybrgn%2Fvideos%2F10200957083166738%2F&display=popup&ref=plugin&src=video
This set is from my live monthly show at QED in Astoria, NYC.
Lyrics:
Jay, what the frick is that, Jay?
Oh Jay, why don’t you answer me?
‘Cause we’re seein’ some crap that we ain’t never seen
Oh, Jay! I need you Jay!
‘Cause I’m trying to express just how I feel
About this turtle tuna or baby whale
(with the accent that rhymes)
Jay! Oh, Jay, why don’t you have anything to say
Talk to me, you know you oughta
Don’t leave me hurt, bro, like that thing in the water
Jay! Bro! Jay! I need to know that you’re O.K.
One word from you is all I wish
It’s no longer about that frickin’ fish
Oh Jay, Oh, Jay! This has been the best day
If that thing attacks and we don’t make it through
I’m glad that my last moments were with you
I love you, Jay. I don’t mean that in a gay way.
Unless you’re into it. I don’t know, hey
Let’s not throw these strong feelings away
Jay, this is totally cray-cray
I hope this day will never end
‘Cause I’m spending it with my best friend, Jay.
“That thing is hurt, Jay!” and by “that thing” I mean, MY HEART!
In the Boston Fish Guys video, MIkey says Jay’s name numerous times but Jay doesn’t say much back. Don’t shut Mikey out, Jay! Mikey just wants to share nature’s splendor with you!
If you haven't seen the viral video I’m talking about you can see it here: (warning: LOTS of swear words) facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fmikeybrgn%2Fvideos%2F10200957083166738%2F&display=popup&ref=plugin&src=video
This set is from my live monthly show at QED in Astoria, NYC.
Lyrics:
Jay, what the frick is that, Jay?
Oh Jay, why don’t you answer me?
‘Cause we’re seein’ some crap that we ain’t never seen
Oh, Jay! I need you Jay!
‘Cause I’m trying to express just how I feel
About this turtle tuna or baby whale
(with the accent that rhymes)
Jay! Oh, Jay, why don’t you have anything to say
Talk to me, you know you oughta
Don’t leave me hurt, bro, like that thing in the water
Jay! Bro! Jay! I need to know that you’re O.K.
One word from you is all I wish
It’s no longer about that frickin’ fish
Oh Jay, Oh, Jay! This has been the best day
If that thing attacks and we don’t make it through
I’m glad that my last moments were with you
I love you, Jay. I don’t mean that in a gay way.
Unless you’re into it. I don’t know, hey
Let’s not throw these strong feelings away
Jay, this is totally cray-cray
I hope this day will never end
‘Cause I’m spending it with my best friend, Jay.
![$9 Cupcake [Music Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tEAoGKOMHk8/mqdefault.jpg "$9 Cupcake [Music Video]
A cupcake strolls through the city without a care in the world. I heard a rumor its going to get its own HBO show soon.
Update: I posted this video 6 days ago and yesterday corporate cupcake company Crumbs went out of business. BEWARE THE POWER OF SATIRICAL SONGS!
Lyrics:
Nine dollar cupcake you better be damn good
There better be a job baked into you
that helps me afford my neighborhood
You better be my soulmate
or the holy grail
You better have the winning lotto numbers
or Kate Uptons email
You better have flour made of cocaine
or frosting made of gold
You better get me higher
than the biggest joint I ever rolled
You better give me confidence
and take away my dread
And tell me I made all the right decisions
when I lie awake in bed
Nine dollar cupcake
you think youre better than me?
You just waltz into my hood
and bougie up my street
Im sure youre fancy
but why should I care?
I dont need to eat everything
with my nose up in the air
When I first heard about you
I just laughed and mocked
But what the hell do I know
theres a line around the block
Why do people love you
I cant figure it out
I guess give them something
that they can blog about
Nine dollar cupcake are you why
The rents too damn high
Our culture gets stale
When the whole towns upscale
Nine dollar cupcake
Ive got a hunch
That I will hate you more
than I hate people who love brunch
Nine dollar cupcake
messing up my hood
All right, Id pay five bucks for one
but only if its really good
Nine dollar cupcake...
Music & Lyrics by Rob Paravonian")
![This App Will Write EDM Songs For You! [52Sellout Week 34]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tNZ_PLpxMbc/mqdefault.jpg "This App Will Write EDM Songs For You! [52Sellout Week 34]
Pick a beat, a loop, and say 5 words and you have an EDM hit on your hands! The EDM-N8R does all of the “work” for you, including tuning, cutting and pasting all of your vocals. Download the EDM-N8R and become a pop producer today!")
![Pachelbel Rant from 2006 [Official High Quality Re-Post]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uxC1fPE1QEE/mqdefault.jpg "Pachelbel Rant from 2006 [Official High Quality Re-Post]
The original Pachelbel Rant in full resolution! I found the transcode file from the original mini DV tape!
Thank you to everyone who liked, shared, translated, and commented on the Rant over the years. It’s been so exciting to hear about how people have found the video—some through music class in school, some found it through friends, some found it by googling Pachelbel to find Canon in D (Ha! Take that, Johann!)
If you’re curious I’m still performing comedy music, I put out a live concert album in early 2019, I regularly perform in New York, the occasional cruise ship, and I write and produce music for myself and other artists. Check out RobPRocks.com for all the details, and check out the new album here: https://open.spotify.com/album/500uskrfq5cFG2mxDAo5Lm?si=iAwOqHYeR72UuLclOy1xQQ
Turn on closed captioning for the official transcript, here are the songs referenced:
2:21 Graduation (Friends Forever), Vitamin C
2:32 Cryin, Aerosmith
2:43 One Tin Soldier, Coven
3:35 Hook, Blues Traveler
3:45 Basket Case, Green Day
4:11 Push, Matchbox 20
4:15 Good, Better Than Ezra
4:17 Machine Head, Bush
4:21 With or Without You, U2
4:25 Torn, Natalie Imbruglia
4:28 Sk8r Boi, Avril Livigne
4:32 We’re Not Gonna Take It, Twisted Sister
4:36 Laverne & Shirley Theme Song
4:40 No Woman No Cry, Bob Marley
4:43 Let It Be, The Beatles")
![The Ballad of Lou Pearlman [Lyric Video]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vXTWzrvX0ts/mqdefault.jpg "The Ballad of Lou Pearlman [Lyric Video]
There have been a lot of Ponzi schemers but only one used his money to give the world the gift of boy band pop. That man was Lou Pearlman and this song is the epic story of his grift.
From the album The American Songbook: Redacted
on apple music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/the-ballad-of-lou-pearlman/1646865974?i=1646866465
on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/78DWewDz32D7vIrOwaLPPr
on bandcamp: https://robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/the-ballad-of-lou-pearlman
on YouTube Music: https://youtu.be/1E1SGEWgEwM
Lyrics:
The Ballad of Lou Pearlman as performed
In the 90s all your pre-teen dreams
Had been funded by a classic Ponzi scheme
Money from financial malfeasance
Was used to find boys who could sing and dance
A guy named Lou had a slew of bogus companies
People invested but the money went missing
He said that he ran aviation companies across the nation
But he was straight up grifting
He used the money to begin a talent search
Founded agencies and labels in a blink
Hired coaches choreographers and chaperones
Soon he gave the world Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC
In the 90s every pre-teen dream
Had been funded by a classic Ponzi scheme
Money from financial malfeasance
Was used to find boys who could sing and dance
A middle class kid from Queens
Who liked helicopters and planes
Sold a blimp to Jordache Jeanes
But it went down in flames
He took the companies public through shady penny stocks
Had insurance and accounting forms but he forged all the docs
The transportation companies were barely real
The investment fund was where huge sums were lost
He lied to borrow money which he spent on record deals
like 3 million bucks in Backstreet Boys startup costs
In the 90s every pre-teen dream
had been funded by a classic Ponzi scheme
And since con men always thrive on reality TV
He started Making the Band on ABC
Eventually all of his acts would sue him
And authorities like the SEC would start to see right through him
He borrowed more and for a while was somewhat resilient
But in the end he’d taken over three hundred million
Word! The guy who started Backstreet Boys and ’NSYNC stole 300 million dollars! A hundred million from individuals!
In the 90s every pre-teen dream
Had been funded by a classic Ponzi scheme
Money from financial malfeasance
Was used to find boys who could sing and dance
If you’re wondering, the other 200 mil. was from institutional inverstors (just say ‘banks’)
In the 90s every pre-teen dream
Had been funded by a classic Ponzi scheme
Money from financial malfeasance
Was used to find boys who could sing and dance")
![Fake News Nightly [52 Sellout Week 50]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wCy7_3EvVuk/mqdefault.jpg "Fake News Nightly [52 Sellout Week 50]
Everyone else is making money (or political hay) with fake news so I figure I’d better get in on it. Look for me in the social feed of your racist cousin or crazy aunt!")
