Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
This conversation with the incredible Dr. Paul Conti, changed how I look at mental health. We’ve all been taught that we’re driven by aggression or pleasure—but Paul reveals there is a third "Generative Drive" that is the actual key to our wellness.
In this episode, we dive deep into his new book, What's Going Right. We talk about why we are so "lost" in negativity, how to move past the stigma of mental health, and the practical "self-inquiry" tools you can use to pull your unconscious patterns out of the "basement" and into the light.
What you can expect from this video:
🔸How to identify the three drivers of your behavior.
🔸The truth about the "Generative Drive" and why it’s essential for healing.
🔸Practical ways to apply "Compassionate Curiosity" to your own life.
🔸A breakdown of the structure vs. function of self.
If you’ve been feeling cynical or stuck in a loop of "what's going wrong," this episode is your GPS back to health.
Find Dr. Paul at:
drpaulconti.com
pacificpremiergroup.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 - Intro: A powerful method for optimizing mental health
02:22 - Dr. Paul Conti’s origin story and clinical background
06:10 - Why we get lost in "What's Going Wrong"
08:06 - The 3 Internal Drivers: Assertion, Pleasure, and Generative
11:04 - The impact of negativity and social media on the mind
15:18 - Understanding vs. Fear: How to stop the downward spiral
18:54 - Bringing the "Basement" to the light: Unconscious patterns
21:23 - Practical tools for deep self-understanding
24:38 - The "Upcycle of Goodness" framework
26:45 - Structure of Self vs. Function of Self
29:05 - Why "Compassionate Curiosity" is the ultimate healing tool
30:52 - Stop "Negative Specialness": Why we are so hard on ourselves
33:15 - How to build a daily self-inquiry practice
35:40 - Final thoughts: Shifting from fear to empowerment
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/Pc1sUYzWefs - Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System (Easy Healing Routines)
youtu.be/u_TwKjIvHlM - Try This 20-Minute Exercise And Change Your Life Forever
youtu.be/Fbiq8p5TLAg - Stop People Pleasing and Being Too Nice: The 1-Sentence Script You Need
youtu.be/EpUmm18TGoU - The Hidden Reason You Feel Like You’re Not Enough
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#MentalHealth #DrPaulConti #TerriCole #personalgrowth #selfinquiry e #mentalwellness
This conversation with the incredible Dr. Paul Conti, changed how I look at mental health. We’ve all been taught that we’re driven by aggression or pleasure—but Paul reveals there is a third "Generative Drive" that is the actual key to our wellness.
In this episode, we dive deep into his new book, What's Going Right. We talk about why we are so "lost" in negativity, how to move past the stigma of mental health, and the practical "self-inquiry" tools you can use to pull your unconscious patterns out of the "basement" and into the light.
What you can expect from this video:
🔸How to identify the three drivers of your behavior.
🔸The truth about the "Generative Drive" and why it’s essential for healing.
🔸Practical ways to apply "Compassionate Curiosity" to your own life.
🔸A breakdown of the structure vs. function of self.
If you’ve been feeling cynical or stuck in a loop of "what's going wrong," this episode is your GPS back to health.
Find Dr. Paul at:
drpaulconti.com
pacificpremiergroup.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 - Intro: A powerful method for optimizing mental health
02:22 - Dr. Paul Conti’s origin story and clinical background
06:10 - Why we get lost in "What's Going Wrong"
08:06 - The 3 Internal Drivers: Assertion, Pleasure, and Generative
11:04 - The impact of negativity and social media on the mind
15:18 - Understanding vs. Fear: How to stop the downward spiral
18:54 - Bringing the "Basement" to the light: Unconscious patterns
21:23 - Practical tools for deep self-understanding
24:38 - The "Upcycle of Goodness" framework
26:45 - Structure of Self vs. Function of Self
29:05 - Why "Compassionate Curiosity" is the ultimate healing tool
30:52 - Stop "Negative Specialness": Why we are so hard on ourselves
33:15 - How to build a daily self-inquiry practice
35:40 - Final thoughts: Shifting from fear to empowerment
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/Pc1sUYzWefs - Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System (Easy Healing Routines)
youtu.be/u_TwKjIvHlM - Try This 20-Minute Exercise And Change Your Life Forever
youtu.be/Fbiq8p5TLAg - Stop People Pleasing and Being Too Nice: The 1-Sentence Script You Need
youtu.be/EpUmm18TGoU - The Hidden Reason You Feel Like You’re Not Enough
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#MentalHealth #DrPaulConti #TerriCole #personalgrowth #selfinquiry e #mentalwellness
