Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love.
We’ve been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space?
In this episode, Elena Brower—bestselling author of Hold Nothing: An Invitation to Let Go and Come Home to Yourself—shares her profound journey from high-functioning perfectionism to a life of presence and service. We dive deep into:
🔸The Perfectionism Trap: Why your need to "fix" is actually a defense mechanism.
🔸The Art of Listening: How to stop "auto-advice giving" and truly be present for others.
🔸Lessons from Hospice: How serving the dying changed the way she parents and lives.
🔸Creative Discipline: Why writing is a daily practice, not a talent.
If you are tired of carrying the weight of the world, this conversation is your permission slip to put it down.
Find Elena at:
elenabrower.com
instagram.com/elenabrower
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 The struggle to let go of control
02:37 Elena Brower’s origin story: Reading as a haven
05:39 The shift from commerce to service
07:48 Writing Hold Nothing: The humbling process
11:35 Overcoming the perfectionism of childhood
14:08 The power of "Listening before Speaking"
17:01 Lessons from Hospice: Serving without fixing
21:30 The "Auto-Fixer" trap in relationships
25:46 Staying consistent with your own practice
30:19 Dealing with resistance and writing daily
34:02 Where to find Elena Brower
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/gUWTeRiIaqE - 5 Behaviors That Reveal a Lack of Emotional Safety
youtu.be/SH9w4O_k9GA - How to Build Emotional Intelligence and Stop Reacting to Everything
youtu.be/uiADfj6Kc4Y - 5 Toxic Behaviors People Mistake for Healthy Boundaries
youtu.be/nXEFyrUj2qk - 4 Things to Say Instead of Taking Responsibility for Everyone
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#peoplepleasing
#codependencyrecovery
#perfectionism
#emotionalhealing
#mindfulness
#selfgrowth
#personaldevelopment
Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love.
We’ve been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space?
In this episode, Elena Brower—bestselling author of Hold Nothing: An Invitation to Let Go and Come Home to Yourself—shares her profound journey from high-functioning perfectionism to a life of presence and service. We dive deep into:
🔸The Perfectionism Trap: Why your need to "fix" is actually a defense mechanism.
🔸The Art of Listening: How to stop "auto-advice giving" and truly be present for others.
🔸Lessons from Hospice: How serving the dying changed the way she parents and lives.
🔸Creative Discipline: Why writing is a daily practice, not a talent.
If you are tired of carrying the weight of the world, this conversation is your permission slip to put it down.
Find Elena at:
elenabrower.com
instagram.com/elenabrower
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 The struggle to let go of control
02:37 Elena Brower’s origin story: Reading as a haven
05:39 The shift from commerce to service
07:48 Writing Hold Nothing: The humbling process
11:35 Overcoming the perfectionism of childhood
14:08 The power of "Listening before Speaking"
17:01 Lessons from Hospice: Serving without fixing
21:30 The "Auto-Fixer" trap in relationships
25:46 Staying consistent with your own practice
30:19 Dealing with resistance and writing daily
34:02 Where to find Elena Brower
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/gUWTeRiIaqE - 5 Behaviors That Reveal a Lack of Emotional Safety
youtu.be/SH9w4O_k9GA - How to Build Emotional Intelligence and Stop Reacting to Everything
youtu.be/uiADfj6Kc4Y - 5 Toxic Behaviors People Mistake for Healthy Boundaries
youtu.be/nXEFyrUj2qk - 4 Things to Say Instead of Taking Responsibility for Everyone
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#peoplepleasing
#codependencyrecovery
#perfectionism
#emotionalhealing
#mindfulness
#selfgrowth
#personaldevelopment
