Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Are you feeling like an outsider in your own home? Does the pressure to be the "perfect" stepmom have you constantly over-functioning, resentful, and burnt out?
In this episode, I’m joined by Jamie Scrimger, the founder of the "Kick-Ass Stepmom" community. We dive deep into the messy, complicated, and often painful reality of navigating blended family dynamics. We aren’t just talking about tips—we’re talking about the deep emotional work required to feel secure, respected, and valued as a bonus mom.
In this video, you will learn:
The "Stepmom Double Bind" and how to break free from the trap of trying to prove your worth.
Why "over-functioning" keeps you in a cycle of resentment (and how to stop).
How to handle high-conflict situations and set boundaries without feeling like the "evil stepmother."
The connection between your unhealed childhood wounds (like the "outsider wound") and your current triggers in a step-family.
Why a united front with your partner is the non-negotiable key to long-term success.
If you are a bonus mom who feels like you’re doing all the emotional labor, this conversation is for you.
Find Jamie at:
jamiescrimgeour.com
instagram.com/jamiescrimgeour
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 - Introduction: Who is Jamie Scrimger?
02:29 - The "Damned if you do" stigma of stepparenting
04:59 - The "Over-functioning" Stepmom: Why we do it
07:38 - Establishing non-negotiable respect in the home
09:33 - Being a "Loving Other" vs. a Replacement Mother
11:41 - Handling high-stakes interventions (The "No Prison" story)
12:48 - Building a true partnership with your spouse
14:22 - The "Is this working?" assessment tool
16:48 - Identifying childhood wounds: The "Outsider Wound"
18:39 - De-escalating resentment (The "Cars & Cuddles" example)
20:26 - Therapeutic cues for clarity & Transference
23:00 - Personal growth & Curating your own life
25:08 - Nervous system regulation in high-conflict situations
28:09 - Curiosity over conflict (Dialogue vs. Debate)
31:26 - Setting a united front regarding respect & discipline
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/hk2cPFbaprg?si=N7NmCuphS4etjmUO - How to Be a Kick-Ass Stepmom with Jamie Scrimgeour
youtu.be/LfrwfqgD8Nw?si=Otxk65ISAXnhUMLZ - High-Conflict Co-Parenting: Setting Boundaries That Work | Gabriella Pomare
youtu.be/P0P7Zxppu9U?si=iYCd7i7QbrVpFPsb - How to Navigate Co-Parenting With Boundaries (Try This!)
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#stepmom #blendedfamily #bonusmom #StepParentingTips #relationshipadvice #coparenting
Are you feeling like an outsider in your own home? Does the pressure to be the "perfect" stepmom have you constantly over-functioning, resentful, and burnt out?
In this episode, I’m joined by Jamie Scrimger, the founder of the "Kick-Ass Stepmom" community. We dive deep into the messy, complicated, and often painful reality of navigating blended family dynamics. We aren’t just talking about tips—we’re talking about the deep emotional work required to feel secure, respected, and valued as a bonus mom.
In this video, you will learn:
The "Stepmom Double Bind" and how to break free from the trap of trying to prove your worth.
Why "over-functioning" keeps you in a cycle of resentment (and how to stop).
How to handle high-conflict situations and set boundaries without feeling like the "evil stepmother."
The connection between your unhealed childhood wounds (like the "outsider wound") and your current triggers in a step-family.
Why a united front with your partner is the non-negotiable key to long-term success.
If you are a bonus mom who feels like you’re doing all the emotional labor, this conversation is for you.
Find Jamie at:
jamiescrimgeour.com
instagram.com/jamiescrimgeour
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 - Introduction: Who is Jamie Scrimger?
02:29 - The "Damned if you do" stigma of stepparenting
04:59 - The "Over-functioning" Stepmom: Why we do it
07:38 - Establishing non-negotiable respect in the home
09:33 - Being a "Loving Other" vs. a Replacement Mother
11:41 - Handling high-stakes interventions (The "No Prison" story)
12:48 - Building a true partnership with your spouse
14:22 - The "Is this working?" assessment tool
16:48 - Identifying childhood wounds: The "Outsider Wound"
18:39 - De-escalating resentment (The "Cars & Cuddles" example)
20:26 - Therapeutic cues for clarity & Transference
23:00 - Personal growth & Curating your own life
25:08 - Nervous system regulation in high-conflict situations
28:09 - Curiosity over conflict (Dialogue vs. Debate)
31:26 - Setting a united front regarding respect & discipline
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/hk2cPFbaprg?si=N7NmCuphS4etjmUO - How to Be a Kick-Ass Stepmom with Jamie Scrimgeour
youtu.be/LfrwfqgD8Nw?si=Otxk65ISAXnhUMLZ - High-Conflict Co-Parenting: Setting Boundaries That Work | Gabriella Pomare
youtu.be/P0P7Zxppu9U?si=iYCd7i7QbrVpFPsb - How to Navigate Co-Parenting With Boundaries (Try This!)
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#stepmom #blendedfamily #bonusmom #StepParentingTips #relationshipadvice #coparenting
