Uploaded July 2023 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago

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A silly song because I felt like writing a silly song. At some point soon I will do something uplifting and positive and sappy again, but I'm having a silly week, so not for this one or the next song.
Thanks to Snowy for "Yeah?"

WAV available for download over here: mediafire.com/file/hhzli9x5ewyqumw/Welcome+to+the+MagicNewWAV2Fade.wav/file

Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the, to the, to the
Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the magic!

The friendship lessons: believe ‘em.
This positivity: mean it.
When I speak I’m so unironic
The doctor says I’m anaemic,
And it’s not a meme it’s iconic.
I keep the smile it’s chronic ,
And I’m just the cream of crop
If you’re farming introvert autists.
But I won’t say that I’m sorry
That I’m rolling harder than Sonic;
I might not roll a Ferrari,
But I got a horse on the bonnet.
And you’re like, “Damn, feeling nauseous”
Cause I’m just more than you can stomach.
A dominatrix; this fandom
Can’t stand the randomness, nonsense.
Honest Applejack.
And I’m on it like apple crack;
Stepping up and I’ll Apple smack
You out the saddle. Slap!
Throw hands, throw hooves,
I throw noobs off the roof, but
Me and my crew will fight you
With kindness.
Send a nice gift to spite you.
Chill like ice cubes.
A Clydesdale, and you’re minute.
Screaming, “Bite me!” while I bite you,
Then throw a party for you and invite you.
Blow the mic out like fellatio;
Dunno what “ratio” means.
I’m too lame and old;
Before they made radios
Recorded my spits in old
Roman: made in stone.
Back when we bought shirts and shopped mech
Paid in gold.
Back when Pangea was a preteen and awkward,
And I’m so damn Derped that
I’m shipped with the Doctor.
Doc! Doc! I’m hurt!
The proctologist! stop her!
Hoof up my bum while she’s dropping my boxers
Down to my Converse.
Damn this a long verse.
Wrap that shit up, ‘cause I’m strapped for the strong words.
Drop the hook! Quick!
For I fuck up the song worse
Than Ponka Po filling the crosswords with
Clop words.

Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the, to the, to the
Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the magic!

Headed back to the internet,
Even though there’s no interest
In my negative intellect
Messages about intersex
Futa horses that intersects
With my fetish for spinnerets,
Spider ponies with cigarettes,
Keeping me in a minaret.
Locked up like Rapunzel;
In the dungeon, with my bum full
Of horsecock.
So damn hot;
It’s wonderful!
No homo though! I’m just cum fueled
I’m too pudge, dumb, and ugly to run;
I’m just gasping on mares by the lungful,
Stagger and stumble,
Asthmatically wheezing so
That Dash says I’m uncool.
Comma, conjunction.
No transition to the next patter.
No one cares; no one listens,
So it don’t matter,
Long as this shit keeps spinnin.
Spittin nonsense ‘bout the mares that I’m kissin’
While I’m sitting in a chair wishin’
I was there.
Listen I’m aware that I’m fishin’
For somepony to care;
I frickin’ swear to Celestia,
I’m just mad for Equestria,
Only difference with the rest of ya:
When I’m stressed I can rest my nuts
On a hydraulic press, press to bust
Then flex, and I wreck machines
Like I’m flecks of rust,
And When I thrust between
Then the rest adjust.
Get set, bust!
I might not know what I’m doing,
But I’m having fun while I do it,
N’ treatin Grubber’s dick like my career.
What I mean I blew it.
Gluing horseshoes
To my flip flops,
And skip, hop right off a cliff
Like I’ve been taught.
It’s been hot, friends,
Now the end.
Heres the sendoff:
Hey Snow?
(Yeah?)
Spin that frickin’ disc
Like it’s hip hop!

Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the, to the, to the
Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the ma-!
Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the, to the, to the
Welcome to the magic!
Welcome to the madness!
Welcome to the slapstick!
Welcome to the magic!