Uploaded January 2024 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago
Pit Crew
|
The Man With A Smile
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![Animal - MLP Fanmusic [Explicit Lyrics]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/G7rYiViR3Co/mqdefault.jpg "Animal - MLP Fanmusic [Explicit Lyrics]
My favorite part is the wolfgirl awoo in the second chorus. It delights me still.
Many thanks to Chompy for hopping on the chorus to push it down an extra few semitones. I had to get up and record using my morning voice just to get the prechorus down to the fifth, but getting that extra octave is just outside of my range.
An EXTRA saucy song for Bustys Acting Like Animals theme, with many thanks to floralshitpost for the art to go with it. (Which, for the record, was on commission BEFORE this https://youtu.be/zPtMglIaroE came out. Were just having a hivemind moment here.)
Find more of her art here! (NSFW):
https://twitter.com/floralsh_tpost
Song available for free download here: https://www.mediafire.com/file/wfrvvki4qn6bf8i/AnimalWAV.wav/file
Whoa there Fluttershy!
Whoa there! No reason to be like that.
We can talk this through. Easy there, girl; easy there.
Whoa-whoa-whoa-back-back-back-back!
(You’re going to LOVE ME!)
Wahaha it’s a mare in heat
Coming at me Rarity
Head to my feet going weak at the knees
She gonna pounce and I’m scared to be here
Please be gentle carefully dear
Animalistic can’t even see clear
Cannibal vision she gonna eat that meat
Like jeezy petes she’s freaky
And she’s goin creature mode
Say the heat makes her explode
Begging please can I have your foal
Fluttershy bitch I told you no
Scratch that itch with a shaft and tip
She goin down like “how’s the trip”
G and PT disappeared my D
And like “how’s that for a magic trick?”
Twilight hump with a rule and compass
Running that bum like calculus
Just when she finish Pinkie’s twitchin
Shit well here we go again
I’m gonna hit that estrus ass
Dick as big as a Texas hat
And when I flex my checks and cash
I get a bitch like best in class
Mare in the Lexus wreck and crash
Ain’t no sweat gotta Estus flask
You got the breastes? I gotta pass
I wanna come in Rainbow Dash
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
So fulla heat like a mare in estrus
She tryna flirt it’s goddamn precious
Go get her friend for a threesome
See son, callin’ that trips, so y’all better check this
Like spike on a checklist, reckless
Pipp just texted sex pics; heck this
High tech, it’s my ticket
Straight to the moon when I fuck a princess
Queen Haven please believe me
I was behaving she tryna freak me
See these likes on her clip trot page
And her blogspot say I got dick for days
Zipp’s the same, even Hitch can say
Izzy told him it was just a phase
Back in the day with Apple J
We used to go for a roll in the (heeeyy!)
They hate me. Cause they ain’t me.
They gatekeep. Cause they can’t keep
Up, and I can’t sleep, cause I’m eight deep
In Pank call it hanky panky
I’m gonna hit that estrus ass
Dick as big as a Texas hat
And when I flex my checks and cash
I get a bitch like best in class
Mare in the Lexus wreck and crash
Ain’t no sweat gotta Estus flask
You got the breastes? I gotta pass
I wanna come in Rainbow Dash
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
The birds and the bees when
The herd hits that season
I can’t even reload
When she goin’
Beastmode.
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal
Want that
Animal, animal")
![Sh*tposts, Hand Grenades, and Horseshoes - MLP Music [Explicit Lyrics]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/HXwtbWYejPc/mqdefault.jpg "Sh*tposts, Hand Grenades, and Horseshoes - MLP Music [Explicit Lyrics]
I, uh, I might have gone a little far on this one. But the topic prompt was The Internet is Scary so....
Available for download here: https://www.mediafire.com/file/s4vtxnvya79jkq3/Shitposts,+Hand+Grenades+and+Horseshoes.wav/file
Thanks, as so often is the case, to ArwenCuack for the wonderful art, this time ponification of an old internet meme image. Find more of her here:
https://twitter.com/ArwenCuack
https://trello.com/b/9sKli91X/arwencuacks-commissions
The internet is scary?
What kind of a topic is that?
The internet isn’t scary.
The real world is scary.
The internet is where the ponies are.
So plug the fuckin modem in,
And load ‘em in
Like bullets in my Colt again.
Hold onto your scrotum;
Hit the road and let the show begin.
Roll it like it’s Roller Coaster Tycoon,
Crying, “I don’t want to go on Mr Bones Wild Ride!”
Go again.
Pull the lever down;
People please the crowd.
We can have another go around;
Princess Pinkie Pie can keep the crown.
I can keep the kilogram of semen;
You can keep it down;
Very hard to jack it while you’re laughing,
Jeezy freaking wow!
Can’t a pervert even jerk in peace now?
Creep around and deep into your DMs,
Sneak into your webcam?
Peepin’ out the lenses while your sleeping
With my peepee out?
Got my Rainbow Dashie mason jar and I drink it down.
In my stinky, musty
Basement with my minky plushy
Ponka Po with Pinkie pussy;
Teeny tiny weenie bustin’
Isn’t even interestin’
Thinking, “He’s just so disgusting,”
Talking to my daki while I’m boppin’
Call it my dis-cushion.
Hoppin’ on the intertubes just to make a shitpost.
Hand grenades and horseshoes, so I ain’t gotta get close.
Cloppin’ to a two dimension bitch and switch hoes.
Sparky Sparkeroni plus your waifu is a spitroast.
You might say I’m knuckle dragging; I know I’m a tip toe.
Tipping topping everything; well you know how that this goes.
I’ma scribble this prose; T pose in drip clothes;
Booping every snootle; bitches say that Nonny gets nose.
Mission after mission
On the internet, call it my E-mission
Bet that it be kissin’ mares and making
Erry single pony wet,
And every single person on the board
Just a little more annoyed
Than they were before I
Called their wife a silly whore.
Ordinary morning on the forum,
It’s a war zone:
Ayylmaoes and dougshit
Interspersed with pornos.
Gee Percenters thirsty for the
Spider legs and dog thots.
Season one purists
On a soapbox selling hog wash.
I can start a fist fight right now, here and now,
Just by posting Trixie and a trans flag. Gay pow’!
But with great pow’ comes a great responsibility
This ability to incite a hate crowd.
I ain’t even gotta believe the shit I’m posting
To leave the bitches choking on my
Creamy, memey weeby weenie.
Maybe I’m just coping, just to cover up
The openness.
If I make enough jokes
No one knows what’s serious.
Seriously friends I’m just dumb as fuck and depressed.
Roflcopter. I’m just joshing; don’t believe what he says.
Mommy says I’m very clever, she thinks I’m a genius.
I don’t think she knows what a year of whiskey drinks did.
Hoppin’ on the intertubes just to make a shitpost.
Hand grenades and horseshoes, so I ain’t gotta get close.
Cloppin’ to a juicy two dimension bitch and switch hoes.
Sparky Sparkeroni plus your waifu is a spitroast.
You might say I’m knuckle dragging; I know I’m a tip toe.
Tipping topping everything; well you know how that this goes.
I’ma scribble this prose; T pose in drip clothes;
Booping every snootle; bitches say that Nonny gets nose.
So dial up the broadband,
Gosh damn,
Logging on to cock spam.
Adblockin’ bots, while
I’m rubbing on my sock hand.
Watch me while I dodge bans,
Running from the cops, and
Long as I’m anonymous
I’ma fuckin’ bomb vans.
Kickin’ on the Crocs
Sweatpants and the top hat.
Damn looking hot: flat butt,
And I got fat.
Walk that line, and I dunno
When to stop that.
Typing while I’m fighting, gloved up
Like I’m Strong Bad.
Hoppin’ on the intertubes just to make a shitpost.
Hand grenades and horseshoes, so I ain’t gotta get close.
Cloppin’ to a juicy two dimension bitch and switch hoes.
Sparky Sparkeroni plus your waifu is a spitroast.
You might say I’m knuckle dragging; I know I’m a tip toe.
Tipping topping everything; well you know how that this goes.
I’ma scribble this prose; T pose in drip clothes;
Booping every snootle; bitches say that Nonny gets nose.
Hoppin’ on the intertubes just to make a shitpost.
Hand grenades and horseshoes, so I ain’t gotta get close.
Cloppin’ to a juicy two dimension bitch and switch hoes.
Sparky Sparkeroni plus your waifu is a spitroast.
You might say I’m knuckle dragging; I know I’m a tip toe.
Tipping topping everything; well you know how that this goes.
I’ma scribble this prose; T pose in drip clothes;
Booping every snootle; bitches say that Nonny gets nose.")
