Uploaded January 2011 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Here are some "home movies" that I shot while on the road for my tour of Canada and Alaska in 1995.
Here are some "home movies" that I shot while on the road for my tour of Canada and Alaska in 1995.





![Weird Al Yankovic - Close But No Cigar (4K Version)
“Close But No Cigar” by “Weird Al” Yankovic - 4K Version
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Ask you voice device to play “Weird Al” Yankovic!
[Verse 1]
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word infer
When she obviously meant imply
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I cant imagine why
[Chorus]
And I told her, I said
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I dont think we are!
Youre close! (Close!)
But no cigar!
[Verse 2]
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
Id found my soulmate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD
[Chorus]
Oh, no! I said
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No, I dont think we are!
Youre close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, youre close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
[Verse 3]
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything Ive dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention shes a world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist?
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
[Chorus]
I said
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No, I dont think we are!
Youre close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aww, baby, youre close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
[Outro]
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
#WeirdAlYankovic #CloseButNoCigar #4KVersion Weird Al Yankovic - Close But No Cigar (4K Version)](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UHqxu2gTjvY/mqdefault.jpg)




