Uploaded September 2019 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Harvey's theme song was performed live for the first time on our 2019 Strings Attached tour. This video was done by Jarrett Heather, the same genius that created the "Word Crimes" video.
Harvey's theme song was performed live for the first time on our 2019 Strings Attached tour. This video was done by Jarrett Heather, the same genius that created the "Word Crimes" video.


![Weird Al Yankovic - Close But No Cigar (4K Version)
“Close But No Cigar” by “Weird Al” Yankovic - 4K Version
Listen to “Weird Al” Yankovic: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYD
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Follow “Weird Al” Yankovic
Facebook: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followFI
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Website: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/WebsiteWI
Spotify: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followSI
Ask you voice device to play “Weird Al” Yankovic!
[Verse 1]
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word infer
When she obviously meant imply
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I cant imagine why
[Chorus]
And I told her, I said
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I dont think we are!
Youre close! (Close!)
But no cigar!
[Verse 2]
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
Id found my soulmate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD
[Chorus]
Oh, no! I said
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No, I dont think we are!
Youre close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, youre close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
[Verse 3]
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything Ive dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention shes a world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist?
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
[Chorus]
I said
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No, I dont think we are!
Youre close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aww, baby, youre close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
[Outro]
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
#WeirdAlYankovic #CloseButNoCigar #4KVersion Weird Al Yankovic - Close But No Cigar (4K Version)](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UHqxu2gTjvY/mqdefault.jpg)






![Weird Al Yankovic - Living With A Hernia (Official Video)
Official Video for “Living With A Hernia” (Parody of “Living in America”) by “Weird Al” Yankovic
Listen to “Weird Al” Yankovic: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYD
Subscribe to the official “Weird Al” Yankovic YouTube channel: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/subscribeYD
Watch more “Weird Al” Yankovic videos: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYC/youtube
Follow “Weird Al” Yankovic
Facebook: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followFI
Instagram: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followII
Twitter: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followTI
Website: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/WebsiteWI
Spotify: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followSI
Ask you voice device to play “Weird Al” Yankovic!
[Verse 1]
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there aint nothin to discuss
He tells me any day, I might have to wear a truss
[Chorus 1]
Living with a hernia
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old
[Verse 2]
Too much bad pain
Good gawd, drives me insane
Cant run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Cant play tennis, and its hard to bowl
You cant even do the splits now (say it)
Better call it quits now
Now Im sick of all this dancin anyhow
[Chorus 2]
Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
[Bridge]
I live with a hernia
Cant get up, cant bend over
Now I live with a hernia
Wait a minute
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in
Theres incomplete (incomplete)
Epigastric (epigastric)
Bladder (bladder)
Strangulated (strangulated)
Lumbar hernia (lumbar hernia)
Richters hernia (Richters hernia)
Obstructed (obstructed), inguinal and direct
[Chorus 3]
Living with a hernia (rupture)
I said its causin me such irritation
Living with a hernia (wow!)
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia
Yeah, I feel bad!
#WeirdAlYankovic #LivingWithAHernia #OfficialVideo Weird Al Yankovic - Living With A Hernia (Official Video)](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/X8Ow1nlafOg/mqdefault.jpg)
![Weird Al Yankovic - Sports Song (Official 4K Video)
Official 4k Video for “Sports Song” by “Weird Al Yankovic
Listen to “Weird Al Yankovic : https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYD
Subscribe to the official “Weird Al Yankovic YouTube channel: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/subscribeYD
Watch more ““Weird Al Yankovic videos: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYC
Follow “Weird Al Yankovic
Facebook: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followFI
Instagram: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followII
Twitter: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followTI
Website: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/WebsiteWI
Spotify: https://weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followSI
Ask you voice device to play “Weird Al Yankovic!
[Chorus]:
Were great (were great)
And you suck (you suck)
Were great (were great)
And you suck (you suck)
Were great (were great)
And you suck (you suck)
You see theres us (were great)
And then theres you (you suck)
Were really, really great (really great)
In contrast, you really suck (really suck)
Okay, full disclosure, were not that great
But nevertheless, you suck
#WeirdAlYankovic #SportsSong #4KRemastered
Music video by Weird Al Yankovic performing Sports Song. (C) 2014 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment Weird Al Yankovic - Sports Song (Official 4K Video)](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XGbqGkS1c2w/mqdefault.jpg)