Uploaded August 2024 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
“Close But No Cigar” by “Weird Al” Yankovic - 4K Version
Listen to “Weird Al” Yankovic: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYD
Subscribe to the official “Weird Al” Yankovic YouTube channel: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/subscribeYD
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Follow “Weird Al” Yankovic
Facebook: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followFI
Instagram: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followII
Twitter: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followTI
Website: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/WebsiteWI
Spotify: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followSI
Ask you voice device to play “Weird Al” Yankovic!
[Verse 1]
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
[Chorus]
And I told her, I said
"Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
But no cigar!"
[Verse 2]
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soulmate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD
[Chorus]
Oh, no! I said
"Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
[Verse 3]
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist?
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
[Chorus]
I said
"Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aww, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
[Outro]
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
#WeirdAlYankovic #CloseButNoCigar #4KVersion
“Close But No Cigar” by “Weird Al” Yankovic - 4K Version
Listen to “Weird Al” Yankovic: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYD
Subscribe to the official “Weird Al” Yankovic YouTube channel: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/subscribeYD
Watch more “Weird Al” Yankovic videos: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/listenYC/youtube
Follow “Weird Al” Yankovic
Facebook: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followFI
Instagram: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followII
Twitter: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followTI
Website: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/WebsiteWI
Spotify: weirdalyankovic.lnk.to/followSI
Ask you voice device to play “Weird Al” Yankovic!
[Verse 1]
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
[Chorus]
And I told her, I said
"Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
But no cigar!"
[Verse 2]
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soulmate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD
[Chorus]
Oh, no! I said
"Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
[Verse 3]
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist?
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
[Chorus]
I said
"Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aww, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
[Outro]
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Really, really, really close!
But no cigar!
#WeirdAlYankovic #CloseButNoCigar #4KVersion
