Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
When to set boundaries isn't always obvious—especially if you've spent years confusing healthy boundaries with control, people pleasing, or guilt.
What if what someone calls a "boundary" is actually emotional manipulation? In this video, I explain the crucial difference between boundaries vs. control, how to recognize boundary violations, and the signs that tell you it's time to protect your peace.
If you grew up with childhood trauma, struggle with people pleasing, or identify as a high-functioning codependent, setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable—even when they're necessary. I'll walk you through the 5 types of healthy boundaries, including emotional boundaries and mental boundaries, so you can better understand your needs, stop self-abandonment, and build healthier relationships.
You'll also learn:
✨ When to set boundaries (and when you don't need one)
✨ The difference between boundary setting and controlling relationships
✨ The 5 types of boundaries everyone should know
✨ How to recognize emotional manipulation and toxic relationship dynamics
✨ Healthy vs. rigid vs. porous boundaries
✨ Practical boundary-setting tips that improve self-worth, assertiveness, and emotional health
Whether you're healing from codependency, navigating toxic relationships, or simply trying to become more confident in your relationship advice and communication skills, this video will help you start setting boundaries with clarity and confidence.
Take the quiz: boundaryquiz.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 Boundary or control?
00:59 When is it okay to set boundaries?
02:45 The 5 types of healthy boundaries
11:10 Healthy vs. rigid vs. porous boundaries
12:25 How to know when you need a boundary
14:06 Practical boundary-setting tips
16:01 Where to start practicing boundaries
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/zU2cQkItN0g - Why Empaths and HSP Highly Sensitive People Are Constantly Exhausted
youtu.be/3kyqOCX9dsw - Family Enmeshment: Codependency, Self-Abandonment + Bad Boundaries
youtu.be/lMHyLEdVJWg - Strategies and Scripts to Start Setting Healthy Boundaries With Family
youtu.be/Lm7tqTfs7js - A Step-By-Step Guide To Finally Setting Boundaries With Emotionally Immature Parents
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#boundaries #peoplepleasing #codependency #healthyboundaries #emotionalboundaries #selfworth #mentalhealth
When to set boundaries isn't always obvious—especially if you've spent years confusing healthy boundaries with control, people pleasing, or guilt.
What if what someone calls a "boundary" is actually emotional manipulation? In this video, I explain the crucial difference between boundaries vs. control, how to recognize boundary violations, and the signs that tell you it's time to protect your peace.
If you grew up with childhood trauma, struggle with people pleasing, or identify as a high-functioning codependent, setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable—even when they're necessary. I'll walk you through the 5 types of healthy boundaries, including emotional boundaries and mental boundaries, so you can better understand your needs, stop self-abandonment, and build healthier relationships.
You'll also learn:
✨ When to set boundaries (and when you don't need one)
✨ The difference between boundary setting and controlling relationships
✨ The 5 types of boundaries everyone should know
✨ How to recognize emotional manipulation and toxic relationship dynamics
✨ Healthy vs. rigid vs. porous boundaries
✨ Practical boundary-setting tips that improve self-worth, assertiveness, and emotional health
Whether you're healing from codependency, navigating toxic relationships, or simply trying to become more confident in your relationship advice and communication skills, this video will help you start setting boundaries with clarity and confidence.
Take the quiz: boundaryquiz.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 Boundary or control?
00:59 When is it okay to set boundaries?
02:45 The 5 types of healthy boundaries
11:10 Healthy vs. rigid vs. porous boundaries
12:25 How to know when you need a boundary
14:06 Practical boundary-setting tips
16:01 Where to start practicing boundaries
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/zU2cQkItN0g - Why Empaths and HSP Highly Sensitive People Are Constantly Exhausted
youtu.be/3kyqOCX9dsw - Family Enmeshment: Codependency, Self-Abandonment + Bad Boundaries
youtu.be/lMHyLEdVJWg - Strategies and Scripts to Start Setting Healthy Boundaries With Family
youtu.be/Lm7tqTfs7js - A Step-By-Step Guide To Finally Setting Boundaries With Emotionally Immature Parents
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#boundaries #peoplepleasing #codependency #healthyboundaries #emotionalboundaries #selfworth #mentalhealth
