Uploaded March 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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Hark ye! Lend thine ear to this rare version of thee hit song performed by Sir Bartholomew Jackson and The Squires. This special version was commissioned by The Earl of Sandwich in the year 1521 AD as a gift for his wife.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] 
Maiden! Thou dinest like pigs
Didst thou see that meal that thou almost missed
I'd rather eat the ox chaff instead
Dining with thee I shall end up dead
Ask me not if I need a bib
Maiden thou dinest like pigs

[Verse 2]
She just ate through the bailiff's crop
I do not want to get the executioner's block
Maiden! Heavens why did I let thee dine
Tis' a miracle thou art still alive
Ask me not if I need a bib
Maiden thou dinest like pigs

[Chorus]
Woah woah woah woah
Look out! My damsel dineth
Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs
Woah woah woah woah
Look out! My damsel dineth
Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs

[Bridge]
Darling! Thou art such a greedy diner
How in Hades didst thou get thy gains
She sayeth nay ever binged she afore
Save she indulged at the byre's store
Ask me not if I need a bib
Maiden thou dinest like pigs

[Chorus]
Woah woah woah woah
Look out! My damsel dineth
Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs
Woah woah woah woah
Look out! My damsel dineth
Watch out! My damsel dineth like pigs