Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
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The conquest continues… and somehow it gets worse.
Welcome back, you sexy skepticons — it’s your boy Adam of NOLA, and today we’re diving into God-Free Bible Study starting at Joshua 11, picking up right after the “five kings” chaos in Joshua 10. This section is basically: “The united kings of northern Canaan defeated” — a coalition forms, a big battle happens, and Yahweh resumes his favorite hobby: claiming credit while humans do the killing.
In this episode we cover Joshua 11–18, including:
“Like the sand on the seashore”: yet another reminder that the Bible constantly uses hyperbole and poetic language… which makes biblical literalism look even more ridiculous.
Yahweh allegedly saying: “Tomorrow I’ll hand them over, slain”… followed by Joshua having to assemble an army and fight anyway. (So… did God do it, or did people do it? Pick one.)
The recurring “strategy” of destroying valuable war assets: hamstringing horses and burning chariots — which makes about as much sense as winning a battle and then melting down all the swords.
The text openly admitting genocide language like “utterly destroyed” and even “exterminated” (NRSV), as if we’re talking about roaches instead of humans.
The book repeatedly contradicting its own supposed divine mandate:
Judah can’t drive out the Jebusites in Jerusalem (Joshua 15:63)
Ephraim can’t drive out the Canaanites in Gezer (Joshua 16:10)
Manasseh can’t fully drive out the Canaanites either (Joshua 17)
…so the “kill everything that breathes” plan suddenly becomes “eh… forced labor will do.”
Yahweh’s weird “I’ll drive them out myself” bravado… paired with reality: Israel keeps failing to drive them out, especially when the enemies have iron chariots (Yahweh vs. iron tech remains an ongoing problem).
The “land had rest from war” line… which is a wild way to summarize a rampage from the conqueror’s perspective.
We also hit the long, exhausting territory-allotment sections (lots of names, lots of borders, lots of “the king of ___: one”) and talk about why these reads like ancient real-estate claims stapled into scripture. Plus: Caleb, at 85, claims he’s still battle-ready like he’s about to headline a UFC card.
If you’re watching because you’ve been told Joshua is “inspiring,” buckle up: this is a text that repeatedly describes slaughter, excuses it as divine will, and then casually admits it didn’t even play out the way the propaganda claims.
As always — huge thanks to my channel members. Y’all keep this thing alive. And if Yahweh would like to correct me on anything said here, he’s welcome to hop in at any time.
Until next time…
Lo I say unto you: stay skeptical.
Join this channel to get access to perks:
youtube.com/channel/UCQaz7qLD-NmPF0f5LCDBmkw/join
The conquest continues… and somehow it gets worse.
Welcome back, you sexy skepticons — it’s your boy Adam of NOLA, and today we’re diving into God-Free Bible Study starting at Joshua 11, picking up right after the “five kings” chaos in Joshua 10. This section is basically: “The united kings of northern Canaan defeated” — a coalition forms, a big battle happens, and Yahweh resumes his favorite hobby: claiming credit while humans do the killing.
In this episode we cover Joshua 11–18, including:
“Like the sand on the seashore”: yet another reminder that the Bible constantly uses hyperbole and poetic language… which makes biblical literalism look even more ridiculous.
Yahweh allegedly saying: “Tomorrow I’ll hand them over, slain”… followed by Joshua having to assemble an army and fight anyway. (So… did God do it, or did people do it? Pick one.)
The recurring “strategy” of destroying valuable war assets: hamstringing horses and burning chariots — which makes about as much sense as winning a battle and then melting down all the swords.
The text openly admitting genocide language like “utterly destroyed” and even “exterminated” (NRSV), as if we’re talking about roaches instead of humans.
The book repeatedly contradicting its own supposed divine mandate:
Judah can’t drive out the Jebusites in Jerusalem (Joshua 15:63)
Ephraim can’t drive out the Canaanites in Gezer (Joshua 16:10)
Manasseh can’t fully drive out the Canaanites either (Joshua 17)
…so the “kill everything that breathes” plan suddenly becomes “eh… forced labor will do.”
Yahweh’s weird “I’ll drive them out myself” bravado… paired with reality: Israel keeps failing to drive them out, especially when the enemies have iron chariots (Yahweh vs. iron tech remains an ongoing problem).
The “land had rest from war” line… which is a wild way to summarize a rampage from the conqueror’s perspective.
We also hit the long, exhausting territory-allotment sections (lots of names, lots of borders, lots of “the king of ___: one”) and talk about why these reads like ancient real-estate claims stapled into scripture. Plus: Caleb, at 85, claims he’s still battle-ready like he’s about to headline a UFC card.
If you’re watching because you’ve been told Joshua is “inspiring,” buckle up: this is a text that repeatedly describes slaughter, excuses it as divine will, and then casually admits it didn’t even play out the way the propaganda claims.
As always — huge thanks to my channel members. Y’all keep this thing alive. And if Yahweh would like to correct me on anything said here, he’s welcome to hop in at any time.
Until next time…
Lo I say unto you: stay skeptical.
