Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Ever feel the urge to just "disappear" during a fight?
Shutting down (stonewalling) is often a nervous system response, not a way to punish your partner. But even if the intent isn't malicious, the impact is still painful.
The secret to a healthier repair? Name what’s happening in real-time.
Instead of going silent, try this: "I’m so mad that I feel like shutting down, but I want to resolve this. Can I have 30 minutes to myself so I can come back to this conversation in a better headspace?"
Naming your experience keeps the connection alive instead of burning the bridge.
đź“š Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
đź“© Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
Ever feel the urge to just "disappear" during a fight?
Shutting down (stonewalling) is often a nervous system response, not a way to punish your partner. But even if the intent isn't malicious, the impact is still painful.
The secret to a healthier repair? Name what’s happening in real-time.
Instead of going silent, try this: "I’m so mad that I feel like shutting down, but I want to resolve this. Can I have 30 minutes to myself so I can come back to this conversation in a better headspace?"
Naming your experience keeps the connection alive instead of burning the bridge.
đź“š Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
đź“© Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
