Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Have you ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship, or that a simple night out with friends could turn into a full-blown fight? You aren’t crazy, and you aren’t alone. In this episode, we’re unpacking a fundamental, often misunderstood concept: Emotional Safety.
📝 How find Emotional Safety Guide: terricole.com/guide
When emotional safety is missing, it’s nearly impossible to build a healthy foundation. Whether you’re feeling anxious, constantly seeking reassurance, or self-sabotaging your happiness, I’m breaking down the five specific signs that your relationship may be lacking this vital security.
We’ll explore where these patterns often start—usually in our childhood blueprints—and why identifying these behaviors is the first step toward reclaiming your peace of mind.
What You’ll Learn
👉The difference between personal insecurity and a lack of relational emotional safety.
👉Why you might be "performing" rather than being yourself in your relationship.
👉5 clear signs of a lack of emotional safety (including trust issues, avoidance, and hypervigilance).
👉How to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and start building a secure foundation.
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 The "Walking on Eggshells" Scenario
00:49 What is Emotional Safety? (And why it matters)
02:59 Personal Insecurity vs. Relational Security
04:46 Why we seek emotional safety
05:43 Sign #1: Lack of Trust & Micro-behaviors
09:12 Sign #2: Hiding Your True Feelings (Avoidant attachment)
11:15 Sign #3: The Constant Need for Reassurance
14:36 Sign #4: Walking on Eggshells & Hypervigilance
17:19 Sign #5: Self-Sabotaging Behavior
18:49 Final Thoughts & What’s Coming in Part 2
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/T7o4UJO0UuE?si=wDqC7GUGsy6KZIie - Emotional Security Explained: The Secret to Healthy Relationships
youtu.be/f2um7z0Imug?si=QpxrsXS4tXG2Bgkk - Unsafe Relationships? Signs + Creating Safety
youtu.be/FIYtoEIMDGo?si=00gDbfOhU1J4j3Jy - How to Manage Your Reactions Without Suppressing Your Emotions | 3 Tips
youtu.be/EdEksQKuFC4?si=QMXTgi-jahm8dORX - How to Create Emotionally Trustworthy Relationships
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#emotionalsafety #emotionalsecurity #emotionalintelligence #relationshipadvice #attachmentstyles #codependency
Have you ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship, or that a simple night out with friends could turn into a full-blown fight? You aren’t crazy, and you aren’t alone. In this episode, we’re unpacking a fundamental, often misunderstood concept: Emotional Safety.
📝 How find Emotional Safety Guide: terricole.com/guide
When emotional safety is missing, it’s nearly impossible to build a healthy foundation. Whether you’re feeling anxious, constantly seeking reassurance, or self-sabotaging your happiness, I’m breaking down the five specific signs that your relationship may be lacking this vital security.
We’ll explore where these patterns often start—usually in our childhood blueprints—and why identifying these behaviors is the first step toward reclaiming your peace of mind.
What You’ll Learn
👉The difference between personal insecurity and a lack of relational emotional safety.
👉Why you might be "performing" rather than being yourself in your relationship.
👉5 clear signs of a lack of emotional safety (including trust issues, avoidance, and hypervigilance).
👉How to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and start building a secure foundation.
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
Time Stamps
00:00 The "Walking on Eggshells" Scenario
00:49 What is Emotional Safety? (And why it matters)
02:59 Personal Insecurity vs. Relational Security
04:46 Why we seek emotional safety
05:43 Sign #1: Lack of Trust & Micro-behaviors
09:12 Sign #2: Hiding Your True Feelings (Avoidant attachment)
11:15 Sign #3: The Constant Need for Reassurance
14:36 Sign #4: Walking on Eggshells & Hypervigilance
17:19 Sign #5: Self-Sabotaging Behavior
18:49 Final Thoughts & What’s Coming in Part 2
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
youtu.be/T7o4UJO0UuE?si=wDqC7GUGsy6KZIie - Emotional Security Explained: The Secret to Healthy Relationships
youtu.be/f2um7z0Imug?si=QpxrsXS4tXG2Bgkk - Unsafe Relationships? Signs + Creating Safety
youtu.be/FIYtoEIMDGo?si=00gDbfOhU1J4j3Jy - How to Manage Your Reactions Without Suppressing Your Emotions | 3 Tips
youtu.be/EdEksQKuFC4?si=QMXTgi-jahm8dORX - How to Create Emotionally Trustworthy Relationships
🪔 Meditate with me: insighttimer.com/terricole
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#emotionalsafety #emotionalsecurity #emotionalintelligence #relationshipadvice #attachmentstyles #codependency
