Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
In a relationship shaped by narcissism or control, the other person’s needs can slowly become the centre of everything. Their comfort, their emotions, their desires, and their reactions begin to matter more than anything else in the relationship.
At first, a person may start by sacrificing their own needs in order to keep the peace. They may learn not to ask for much, not to express disappointment, and not to bring up their own feelings because doing so leads to guilt, conflict, punishment, or accusations of being selfish.
Over time, the sacrifices often become bigger. The person may give up friendships, family connections, hobbies, routines, values, or parts of their identity because the other person demands more and more loyalty, attention, and control. What once felt like a clear boundary can slowly become negotiable when survival depends on keeping the other person happy.
This is one reason these relationships can be so damaging. The person is not only being mistreated; they are also being trained to abandon themselves. They may begin to tolerate anger, disrespect, manipulation, or abuse while telling themselves it is their job to understand, excuse, or absorb it.
As the relationship becomes more unequal, one person is treated as superior and the other is pushed into a smaller and smaller role. The controlling person demands respect without offering it, expects service without mutual care, and creates a dynamic where the other person’s needs no longer seem to matter.
Healing often involves recognizing how much of yourself had to be put aside in order to survive the relationship.
In a relationship shaped by narcissism or control, the other person’s needs can slowly become the centre of everything. Their comfort, their emotions, their desires, and their reactions begin to matter more than anything else in the relationship.
At first, a person may start by sacrificing their own needs in order to keep the peace. They may learn not to ask for much, not to express disappointment, and not to bring up their own feelings because doing so leads to guilt, conflict, punishment, or accusations of being selfish.
Over time, the sacrifices often become bigger. The person may give up friendships, family connections, hobbies, routines, values, or parts of their identity because the other person demands more and more loyalty, attention, and control. What once felt like a clear boundary can slowly become negotiable when survival depends on keeping the other person happy.
This is one reason these relationships can be so damaging. The person is not only being mistreated; they are also being trained to abandon themselves. They may begin to tolerate anger, disrespect, manipulation, or abuse while telling themselves it is their job to understand, excuse, or absorb it.
As the relationship becomes more unequal, one person is treated as superior and the other is pushed into a smaller and smaller role. The controlling person demands respect without offering it, expects service without mutual care, and creates a dynamic where the other person’s needs no longer seem to matter.
Healing often involves recognizing how much of yourself had to be put aside in order to survive the relationship.
