Literally Genesis 34 @paulchartley
Literally Genesis 34  @paulchartley
Uploaded January 2012 | Updated September 2026, 13 hours ago
Welcome to part thirty four in this series of videos in which I take the advice of all of those Christian fundamentalists and read my bible - literally

You see if you are going to believe in the literal "truth" of the bible and take it literally then literally is the only way that you can read it.

In this episode Dinah, one of the daughters of Jacob, goes on a girls night out and meets Shechem, the son of Hamor the Hivite and gets defiled.

Now of course, what defiled actually means is not specified and it doesn't say if she agreed to be defiled or not but one thing is for certain, Shechem wanted to marry her so that he could defile her for the rest of her life, so he asked his old man if he could have a word in Jacobs, shell like and get it sorted

Anyhow, it turns out that Dinah's old man lives just outside town in a tent and it turns out that he's a fuckin pikey and the thing wi' pikeys is that they never tells the truth and they ends up agreeing to the wedding on the condition that Hamor buys Dinah's old lady a new caravan, and not only that, but Hamor, his son and all the men in the city 'as to cuts the end off their John Thomas.

Being a bunch of mugs they goes and does it and a couple of them pikey lads that be sons o' that Jacob see themselves as being a Nemesis, namely a a righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an two 'orrible cunts who appear to have somehow activated "god mode" and though It might have previously occurred to the reader that the pikeys had taken the defilement of their sister rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reaction ... is quite a fucking thing to be hold

Its almost as if they were under divine control



Music:
"The Good Book"
Written and Performed by Tim Minchin

youtube.com/user/timminchin
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Literally Genesis 34

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