Uploaded September 2024 | Updated September 2026, 3 hours ago

---

Parody Violation track 18. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_parody_violation
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyrics (TTTO "The Quest," Leslie Fish):

Now the fans came home from the press, blackened and sore they came,
Inky of hair and dress, deafened, blunt-fingered, and lame
In printing we take no shame, we'll say it in black and white
But tomorrow's the con, my sanity's gone, and the run must be done tonight!

Chorus: So here is my press to mend (kathunka!)
Here is my plate to be shot
The fountain's too strong,
The run's too long,
But we'll print whatever we've got
We'll print whatever we've got

Oh, dark and deep was the scum that crept over half of our plate
We still don't know where it's from, but we noticed it much too late
For half of the ream's been run, of 80-pound Astrobright
"Our cover is blown," he said with a grown, "and the run must be done tonight!"

(Chorus)

Now the feed's making noises strange, and every third sheet gets jammed,
Or wrapped 'round the rollers, or swallowed quite whole, or folded and monogrammed
The crud sheets are filling the chute, the jogger is losing the fight,
The drive belt just broke, I think I smell smoke, but the run must be done tonight!

(Chorus)

Now our pages you count and know, our volumes so fine and thick,
But you have not seen my foe being serviced by A. B. Dick
Oh, surely we'll print again, again, but we'll sell the damn press for junk
Give Kinko's a call, or Xerox it all, and never again kathunk (kathunka! kathunka! kathunka!)

(Chorus)