Uploaded March 2021 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago

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Don't Ask track 16. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
Download the album here: archive.org/details/filk_dont_ask
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Lyrics:

I met her in a barroom on a world called Callan C
More drunk she was than anyone would ever want to be
I tickled her and patted her and lifted up her skirt
She jumped up on my lap and then she threw up on my shirt
And I said, “This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship!”

And I'll drink a toast now to Lola, the engineer

On board the “Sultan's Pleasure,” with a load of ore to haul
Well, a freighter all but runs itself between the ports of call
And outside of drink and making love, there isn't much to do
So that's what we did each chance we could, and a few we couldn't too
And those were very few

And I'll drink a toast now to Lola, the engineer

One day in an unused engine, just to pass the while
Drinking gin and making love in a complicated style
Our bodies shook together from our kneecaps to our necks
“It's love!” I cried. “Like hell,” she said, “it's pirates! Hit the deck!”
She listened at the intercom then turned to me and said
“Inside an hour they'll find us, in an hour we'll be dead.
And there's no way to outrun 'em...” then a look came to her eye
“By God, it may not work,” she said, “but we'll know the reason why.”

So I'll drink a toast now to Lola, the engineer

It seems the pirates made their move while we were making love
And a pulsar blast had fried the brains of every hand above
But we were recreating down in engine number two
Where twenty feet of shielding kept the hell from coming through
So we jury-rigged the panel board to start the engine cold
With a power surge and a blast we knew the shielding couldn't hold
And Lola took a can of paint and signed her work in red
“I'll see you bloody bastards down in hell!” was what it said

And I'll drink a toast now to Lola, the engineer

Then we sprinted for a shuttlecraft and ran to save our skins
And Lola passed the bottle for one final slug of gin
“There's a million ways to live,” she said, “but there's just one way to die.”
Then the surge came through and the “Pleasure” blew and the pirates lit the sky
And when the “Sultan's Pleasure” went, the sky was filled with light
And time stood still an endless moment in the endless night...
And then the shockwave hit us, picked us up, and threw us clear
There's fortune for a greenhorn and a spaceborn engineer

And I'll drink a toast now to Lola, the engineer

It ended back on Callan's where we drained the taverns dry
We drank and smashed our glasses and we never said goodbye
And the last time I saw Lola she was looking for a beer
She's a drunkard, and a cynic, and a first-class engineer—

And I'll drink a toast now to Lola, the engineer