Uploaded December 2025 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
"It's Christmas, Mate"
December.
Late bill. (again)
Petrol lights. (vely-love)
Fake goodwill. (yeah right)
Cardboard trees. (look at it)
Slade again. (of course)
Mince pies sweating. (rank)
Smile, pretend. (smile, smile)
Santa mug. (crack in it)
Crack in it. (still using it)
Office do. (mandatory)
Mandatory chit. (small talk hell)
HR grin. (don’t blink)
Fire exit. (blocked)
Warm prosecco. (plastic flute)
Cold resentment. (that’s better)
It’s Christmas, mate. (is it)
Don’t clap. (don’t)
Same life. (unchanged)
Different tat. (two quid)
Kids scream. (piercing)
Lottery queue. (dream on)
“Next year, love.” (sure)
Same excuse. (every year)
Plastic sled. (useless)
No snow forecast. (obviously)
Weather app. (lying)
Says “don’t ask.” (just rain)
Charity song. (again)
Radio saint. (choir voice)
Celebs begging
With teeth too straight. (bleached)
Coins counted. (careful)
Gas meter. (beeping)
Jesus next to
A Bluetooth speaker. (half price)
It’s Christmas, mate. (say it)
Ring bell. (ding ding)
Peace on Earth. (alright then)
Retail hell. (clock in)
Turkey price. (have a word)
Hostile act. (criminal)
Veggie roast
Tastes like facts. (cardboard)
Uncle shouts (here we go)
About a screen. (Facebook)
Kitchen cry. (quiet)
Heard, unseen. (as usual)
Cards say
What they always say. (copy paste)
“Hope next year’s better.” (won’t be)
Filed away. (drawer)
Tree goes up. (fine)
Tree comes down. (bin it)
Same four walls
Same dead town. (home sweet home)
Blinking lights. (flicker)
Buzz hum. (headache)
Payday gone. (already)
Still skint, son. (told ya)
Snow globe life. (shake it)
Council flat. (third floor)
Silent Night. (good one)
Imagine that. (imagine)
It’s Christmas, mate. (last time)
Say it slow. (slow)
Same old script. (script)
End of show. (curtain)
Boxing Day. (leftovers)
Reduced meat. (yellow sticker)
Alarm clock. (beep)
Same heartbeat. (thump)
"It's Christmas, Mate"
December.
Late bill. (again)
Petrol lights. (vely-love)
Fake goodwill. (yeah right)
Cardboard trees. (look at it)
Slade again. (of course)
Mince pies sweating. (rank)
Smile, pretend. (smile, smile)
Santa mug. (crack in it)
Crack in it. (still using it)
Office do. (mandatory)
Mandatory chit. (small talk hell)
HR grin. (don’t blink)
Fire exit. (blocked)
Warm prosecco. (plastic flute)
Cold resentment. (that’s better)
It’s Christmas, mate. (is it)
Don’t clap. (don’t)
Same life. (unchanged)
Different tat. (two quid)
Kids scream. (piercing)
Lottery queue. (dream on)
“Next year, love.” (sure)
Same excuse. (every year)
Plastic sled. (useless)
No snow forecast. (obviously)
Weather app. (lying)
Says “don’t ask.” (just rain)
Charity song. (again)
Radio saint. (choir voice)
Celebs begging
With teeth too straight. (bleached)
Coins counted. (careful)
Gas meter. (beeping)
Jesus next to
A Bluetooth speaker. (half price)
It’s Christmas, mate. (say it)
Ring bell. (ding ding)
Peace on Earth. (alright then)
Retail hell. (clock in)
Turkey price. (have a word)
Hostile act. (criminal)
Veggie roast
Tastes like facts. (cardboard)
Uncle shouts (here we go)
About a screen. (Facebook)
Kitchen cry. (quiet)
Heard, unseen. (as usual)
Cards say
What they always say. (copy paste)
“Hope next year’s better.” (won’t be)
Filed away. (drawer)
Tree goes up. (fine)
Tree comes down. (bin it)
Same four walls
Same dead town. (home sweet home)
Blinking lights. (flicker)
Buzz hum. (headache)
Payday gone. (already)
Still skint, son. (told ya)
Snow globe life. (shake it)
Council flat. (third floor)
Silent Night. (good one)
Imagine that. (imagine)
It’s Christmas, mate. (last time)
Say it slow. (slow)
Same old script. (script)
End of show. (curtain)
Boxing Day. (leftovers)
Reduced meat. (yellow sticker)
Alarm clock. (beep)
Same heartbeat. (thump)
